{{{{Kevin}}}} What an awful thing to happen. Kev, when things go bad it's so easy to just give up and give in to the loss of hope (which is what people really mean when they talk about hell). I bet it hurts like hell at the moment but believe me it will get better. Cry as much as you need to, because it's not fair and no amount of comforting words that I can give or anyone can give can change that. But do believe that there are people out there who care about you and what you are going through right now. And it does get better, the pain never entirely goes away but you learn to live with it. It's part of being human, there's none of us who don't feel pain. It's the fastest shortcut to learning compassion for suffering, and that's my own personal theory on why life can be so tough sometimes. You're destined eventually to lose everything and everyone that you love, or they to lose you. Knowing that opens your heart to remembering how precious a gift life is. And I really do sincerely believe that it doesn't end at death. Your babies have just gone on to bigger and better things. Whilst I'm not a vet, and I hope very much that you've got a good vet working on this case, the first thing that springs to mind on reading of the symptoms is some sort of poisoning (mainly the blood, there must be *something* that's causing internal bleeding). Could they have gotten into something bad, anything under the sink? In the bathroom? Have you bought any new chemicals lately? Just a thought. Lots of good wishes winging their way to you. You're in my thoughts this Christmas (and all the other hurting ones around the world) TK PS A reading suggestion, if you're up to it, is Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' "On Death and Dying", highly recommended to anyone who has lost or is losing someone they love. [Posted in FML issue 2904]