I haven't posted for a very long time. I've told a few close friends, but now I'm going to try my best not to cry and post publicly, and I want to do this before the new year. It's Jade Elaine he's gone Oh boy, I knew I couldn't do this without crying..... Jade's Adrenalectomy was scheduled for November 17th. The surgery was a great success, but when Debbie was closing him up, Jade Elaine went into cardiac arrest. Debbie tried to "hold" him, but Jade didn't want to be "held". Debbie called me at work to tell me the news, she was crying and I started crying. I was kind of in a shock mode. I left work and went home. When I walked into the house, it hit me hard. I sat for a bit, and then went to the vet to see Jade one last time. Debbie said I could stay with him for as long as I needed. I held him for a while and told him how much I loved him and that I would never, never forget him nor the impact that he has had in my life. I had him privately cremated and put into his apple urn. When my time comes to pass, we will be buried together. I owe Jade a lot ya know, he knew not to cross on my birthday, (16th). He had the good grace to leave me on what he though was the best/appropriate acceptable terms for me. I do not regret putting him through the surgery one iota, he needed that surgery for a better quality of life. It's been over a month now and I still find it extremely difficult to write and talk about him. A part of me died with Jade that will never be resurrected again. It doesn't mean that I will never love again, it's just that a part of me is gone that was Jade's and Jade's alone. Dai Mai, my little female, misses him terribly. It was heartbreaking to watch her look and look for Jade Elaine. After looking, Dai Mai would go to what was their sleepy sac and wait..... I did get another little ferret. I named her Amber-Lynn. I was a little frustrated with her at first, cause she didn't have the same likes, actions that Jade had. Now granted, I would be the 1st to admit that there will simply never, never be another Jade Elaine. But somewhere inside I wanted her to be Jade. The bond is setting in now for Amber-Lynn and I, and that's what I was longing for. She really is a darling little sweetie. She certainly is an original :o) The mould was definitely broken :o) I wanted so much for Jade to be with me this New Year's Eve. I guess in spirit he will be :o) I don't quite know what else to say, but believe me when I say this, I know Jade Elaine is alive and well in his place, and he's waiting for me. Until we meet again my precious boy, remember our promise, I love you and I will never, never forget you @->->- Jadesun @->->- Jadesun, Dai Mai n' Amber-Lynn terribly missing Jade Elaine :o( http://www3.nbnet.nb.ca/jadesun @->->- [Posted in FML issue 2912]