[Moderator's note: Unfortunately, there are a few sad notes here :-( I hate to start things off this way, but if anyone has ideas or soothing words, I'm sure both would be welcome. More than anything though, there is much love evident in post after post in this FML. (In most FMLs!) These critters do seem to pull our hearts all ways. BIG] Please excuse any mistakes I may make in this letter. I am sick to my stomache and crying like mad. Rascal has left to join Lady and Zeus at the Rainbow Bridge. This morning I went to give him his meds. He was weak and didn't really want to eat. It took some coaxing, but I was able to get some soup and meds into him. Socks seemed to be okay, i guess. He had the energy to chase after one of the other kids. But his appetite dwindled as well. I placed Rascal back in the cage so he could sleep in comfort. I went in at 4pm to get him for another dose of meds. Socks was laying outside the cage looking in, he almost seemed to be crying. I could see droplets of blood in the cage. Rascal was cold. Blood was around his mouth. All my other kids are showing symptoms of some illness. Eyes are closing, but no discharge, rashes on bellys and backs, heavy hacking. None really seem lethargic until the disease starts taking it's course. We'll be going to the vets soon with some of the others for bloodtests. While distemper was a possibility we did not seriously consider it because of the vaccinations and the fact that some of the symptoms were missing. But, like people say - vaccines are no guarantee, viruses mutate so vaccines may be useless. I don't know what I can do. Was it something I did? Something I didn't do? I feel like the carrier of some black death. Just a few posts ago I mentioned people should go to pet stores and hug the fuzzies to show them about love. Now I am getting afraid to touch one. I almost feel like my touch leads to certain death. How can I ever bring a new fuzzy into this house without thinking they would surely die ? I love these kids with all my heart. They are the most important thing in my life. We share love, they are my anxiety relief. Nedless to say, my emotional well-being, mental and physical health are being stretched to the limit. People have often told me, and at times I really beleived that the Powers that ve will not give you more then you can handle. Well, I think they overestimated me !!! I had Zeus cremated and brought his ashes home to honor him. I wished I had done that when Lady left. I had hoped to do that with all the kids when their respective times came. Lord knows, with medical bills and all, I sure can't afford to if they all start going one after another. If anyone has any good prayers, please say them for me and my kids. I'm running out of prayer myself. Anybody got a Christmas miracle they want to share - I can use it. otherwise, it's going to be a very sad Christmas Kevin B and the Way Kewl Critter Crew ~Furrice~Simon~Lacey~Hershey~Sprite~Socks~Cuddles~Java~Miss Priss~ Cinna~Racer~Muttley~Dookesbury~ Guardian Fur-Angels - ~Lady~, ~Zeus~, ~Rascal~ Missing our friends - Kimo the Sumo Cat (and Honorary Fert) and fellow ferts ~Petey~, ~Nibbler~, ~Max~, ~Romeo~, ~Bandit~, and the other ~Romeo~ Saying "Hey!" to ~Pandora~, ~Noser~ and the rest of the Tennessee Brat Pack !! Please see KITY=^..^=KAT's Fur Faces, Memorial for Zeus http://www.geocities.com/Petsburgh/2396/zeus.html Prayers to the ill and those who have gone before us. Hug your fuzzies while you can, hold them in your heart when you can't. [Posted in FML issue 2903]