Coming from someone who has been on the giving and receiving end of heated discussions, I have to ask: What's the point in forwarding flames? The moderator of the list isn't a babysitter. If you don't want someone to email you about a post you have put in, post anonymously. It seems pretty easy to control. While I understand you shouldn't have to post anonymously to avoid being flamed, aren't we all grown up enough to agree that there are people who will ALWAYS take things the wrong way, and there are people who have the lovely ability to just blow things off? I completely disagree with getting any third party involved in "flames". You don't like what someone said, delete their mail, mutter a few choice words under your breath and move on. The other reason is I have seen posts on here that have made my jaw drop, and I've thought to myself, "How did this ever get posted?" I often don't agree with what the moderator considers not a flame. I've seen some nasty, harsh things said with name calling and choice phrases, yet they make it in here anyway. I've seen entire clusters of posts ganging up on one person, like a bunch of children on the playground, sometimes with admonishments such as, "Perhaps this shouldn't have been posted, but..." Well, then why did it? Point is: we're not all going to agree. With over 3000 people on this list, it is not fair to involve a third party. His idea of a flame, my idea of a flame, and your idea of a flame could all be different. How is that fair to any? Nor is it practical. The list is a free service, and an outlet to allow free speech, no matter how misguided some of it may be. Someone at some point just has to take the high road. Let it be you. Julie [Posted in FML issue 2881]