Just over two weeks ago I became an official Foster Mom for the first time in my life. The other 13 years were more like, Honourary Foster Mom. I didn't know if I would actually feel any differently than I did before the actual title but now that I am here, I can say it does... at least a little. Being a foster parent really doesn't change much except that your vet bills get paid by the Shelter, the food and litter are supplied, you are made more accountable for your actions, and medical decisions have to be agreed upon as a group. When Squeegie came into my life just over two weeks ago, I didn't think that I would fall for him as fast as I did. But fall I did, and so did my husband. Because of his noticeable hairloss near the back end, he was given a vet check that determined that exploratory surgery was required to check out his adrenal glands. The vet found that Squeegie was full of tumors instead, as well as internal bleeding. In a rare circumstance, the vet could not get a hold of those who could make a final decision. The decision fell to me. In an instant, I was asked to make a life or death decision that would affect me the rest of my life. And although the findings of the exploratory sounded devastating, I chose to give Squeegie time. And although it would mean that I would have to be accountable for my decision, I felt that I had the best reason of all for making the one I did: Squeegie was not ready to let go of life just yet. That night, as I drove home knowing that he was alive, but that he would not be home with me, I heard a song on the radio that said more to me than anything I could think of ... "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine Let it shine, Let it shine, Let it shine............" And that little light was Squeegie. I had to let him shine. In the short period of time that I had to get to know him, I found a ferret that was full of spunk and eager to define his ferrethood upon my other ferrets as well as my cats. It was exciting to see him exerting himself in a dominant role, even defeating our alpha male. It was fascinating to watch as he found the quick routes to get up onto the bed so that he could clean my ears and face. And no words can describe the first night when he climbed into my lap to curl up to sleep. It seemed so unfair that in such a short period of time, Squeegie got a taste of real life, only to have it taken from him. To look into his eyes, I can see I did not make the wrong choice - even if it meant that his life lasted only a week more. Being a Foster Mom means taking the good with the bad and making the most out of each day no matter what cards are dealt. And if it were to come that a ferret had only a day of life left in him, he would still find a home with me. I know in my heart I would do it again, and again. Because to me, none of them are hopeless. Love is not conditional. And that is what Squeegie needs from me, and that is what he will get until the day comes when he can no longer receive it. And when that day comes my little light will go to the rainbow bridge that is deep within my heart. Betty and Her Blur O'Fur plus Squeegie [Posted in FML issue 2850]