I lost Renny a month ago today, and it's not any better than if it had happened just yesterday. Renny was a beautiful, tiny and petite 2 1/2 yr. old sprite. I first saw a ferret in 1981 but couldn't afford or properly care for one. In '97 I rescued one that didn't survive. This got me started and off I went to the pet stores. I finally settled on one ferret, a little silver mitt w/ a blaze and a dot under each black eye. I visited her a couple of times before going to Petsmart to look through and get a book on caring for them. It scared me a bit, but I decided that everything written couldn't all happen with one ferret. I visited her once more and asked that she be " held " for the day. Hubby says no, we'll get one someday. He never felt this way about all the cats he always ended up with. Anyway I told him if she was still there tomorrow when they opened that it was meant to be and that I would go get her. I called the store and said to put her back w/ her litter mates that if she was still there I'd get her tomorrow. I said I didn't want her separated from her mates all night. The clerk offered to go ahead and hold her till the next morning. Well, I never said how she might still be there the next day. That morning I went and bought all the supplies. Hubby left messages all day not to get a ferret. Well I got her anyway! The next morning he was downstairs letting her play in his shirt! Love at first sight. Although I was always her caregiver. Meaning meds, baths, ear cleanings, etc. Some of her favorite things were sleeping in a knit ski cap, on top of her hammock. She loved cheerios. She adored cheweasels. Playing in pants, occupied or not. She never bit my ear but held it hostage after I cleaned hers. She'd always run up my right arm and sit on my shoulder for a few seconds with her mouth barely touching my earlobe. Then she'd jump or crawl backwards off the loveseat, squnch up and run backwards. Swinging that butt from side to side. Her stubbornness and sheer determination made up for her small size. The absolute BEST thing I ever got her and feared she'd ignore, being so expensive, was the 20 ft. clear dryer hose. Never knew she could shake her tail till then. She loved to lay on her back and scoot through it while being taunted by a toy moving above her. She was so clean and neat. She finished each piece of food before she'd get another one. Although not when she was a baby. Food and litter everywhere. She scared me like crazy after having her for a couple of days. I didn't want her on the floor so her cage was on a table. I looked up and she had just crawled through the wire of the old style Super Pet cage! I ran and grabbed her. She never did it again. I guess she wasn't sure she had done it or how. As time passed she lost all of her patterns. She was white, not bright like an albino though, and had very light and few silver guard hairs on her back. She was absolutely beautiful, on the outside too. Of course she loved to play in the bed under the blanket. She loved to get on the end table and push a sandstone coaster off. She'd go to the edge and just stare at it. She loved to rearrange anything I had previously arranged. She loved rocks. Rocks I collect and arrange just so. She didn't like how I arranged, so she arranged them. She made and in a way, saved my life. I had a pancreas transplant in Jan. She was included in my decision to do so. I took pictures of her w/ me and called her at least twice a week, so she wouldn't forget me or my voice. My love for her and commitment to her brought me through it all. I ended up back in MN. 3 more times after the t.plant itself. I had organ rejection each time . The last time I had a " leak " so had to have surgery again. Time before that almost bled to death because of a nicked vessel from the biopsy to confirm rejection once again. Anyway, I was NOT going to die because Renny needed me as I did her. I showed her photos to almost everyone and bragged constantly. Thing is, from Jan. to June I was out of town and in the hospital for 2 1/2 to 3 weeks at a time. I did with and for her while I was home, even though it was painful. But it could've been more and better. I was and am on Prednisone. She was too. Trust me, it is terribly bitter. I was badly distended for about 2 mths. She was, badly, for a couple of weeks. They went in my jugular. They went in hers at the hospital. I say too weird and SO unfair. RENNY got me through. Now I'm without her and it's just not right!!!!!!!! I feel that I failed her miserably!!!!!!!! Some of her nicknames: Sweet-pea Renny or Renner Girl, Little One, Ren, Baby Girl, Mama's Sweet-pea Renny Girl and Head-butter and Butter-head. When she woke in the morning she loved to butt my hand w/ her head and her head was soft like butter. Sonya Loving and missing Renner every day and in every way. [Posted in FML issue 2832]