Last night I made one of the most difficult decisions in my life, to help Dusty leave this world. Dusty had insulinoma and adrenal and was 7-8 yrs old. He's been on Pediapred for 2+ years. This last month he was not able to get into the low lying beds because of his weight. His weight was fat, not fluid. He was obese. He was unable to support himself with his back legs and so he pushed with his back and pulled with his front. He would have accidents and lay in them or barely move away. He'd urinate while sleeping and stay sleeping in the wet spot. He could no longer get up on the hammocks and just moving was a chore for him. For the last week I'd find him laying on the rug, not in a blanket, sometimes near a bed. The past month also brought along more frequent mild low sugar episodes. Yesterday morning he didn't want to eat his recipe. He ate a little reluctantly at noon. At 5 he again didn't want to eat. We went to the vet and I brought along 3 ounces of recipe and his 7pm medication. At 7 I medicated him and put the warmed recipe in front of him. He ate with a relish. I almost changed my mind.... but I didn't. My last act of love for Dusty, was to release him from the chains of illness that held him. My thoughts are the same for others that have had to make this life ending decision, was it fair to him to let him go I wonder? As Nancy walked out of the vet clinic, she saw a rainbow. A strange site as there had been no rain that day... Our vet and I have helped many leave this world, but they were at the point the decision was made for us because the illness was so far progressed they were in pain and/or not responding to medication. I've also held screaming, seizuring ferrets in my arms as they died. Each time my heart aches so and the tears flow. My pain will always surface because I care. I praise those of you that have the strength to help the little ones to leave when it is time. It is so very difficult.... In Dusty's memory, I ask that all of you spend more time with your little ones this weekend. Hugs to all. tle [Posted in FML issue 2708]