I just noticed today that one of the nails on Dervish's front paw is completely broken off. She hasn't said anything about it (no wincing or noise when I handle the paw) and doesn't seem to be in any pain ... should I be worried? I've scoured the house and found no bloodstains or the broken-off piece of nail; I think it would've bled, as it's broken down past where the vein would've been. Now, the latest exploit from my little bundle of joy: Dervish has a ferrety bunker under the bed. She's got her cache of beauty products, as well as several plastic cups and a blanket. I came home late the other night, and let her out of the cage. I poured some num-num (IAMS kitten chow) into her bowl, but in my exhaustion, I left the container open. (I keep it in a plastic pitcher-thing with a flip-top lid.) I was too tired to get her out from under the bed, so I left her loose in my room and fell asleep. The next morning, the num-num was gone, the container totally empty. We're talking a pound of num-num vanishing into thin air. I questioned the ferret, but she admitted nothing. I questioned Bad Cat, who has a taste for kitten chow, but she admitted nothing. Between the two of them, they couldn't eat a pound of num-num in one night, even if they were trying and working together. I watched Dervish carry the num-num from her bowl and hide it under the bed, as ferrets are wont to do. And then I detected a faint num-nummy smell emanating from beneath me. Sure enough, all the plastic cups she'd hoarded under the bed were full of num-num! How long would it take for one ferret, working dilligently, to squirrel away that much num-num?! And why on earth would she do it?! I mean, the little woozles are certainly hoarding animals, but that much num-num?! My friends always tell me I'm lucky to have such an amusing pet. My friends, however, do not spend bleary-eyed mornings digging ferret chow out from under their beds. (Nor do they have an extensive knowledge of poopie variations, but we'll leave that one alone.) -(TX) Meghan and Dervish the WonderFerret ("Sherlock Holmes you ain't ... now gimmie back that num-num.") [Posted in FML issue 2615]