Dear Pete, I took to heart today's post about not just answering privately, but also sending our answers to the FML in case other people might get something out of reading them, so this is the same letter I already sent you. Here goes: No two ferrets are alike, and no two people are alike, so you'll probably get a lot of different responses to your query about the lack of affection you feel from your ferrets. Rustle and Archie, the only ferrets I can speak for, seem to be very headstrong individuals who don't always immediately know what they are going to enjoy, and sometimes have to be taught. NOW they enjoy raisins, ferretone, and being held, but they didn't always. Mooching bananas and beating each other up (in fun) always seemed to be their priorities, and if I hadn't repeatedly shown them that there was more to life than "banoos" and tumbling down a flight of stairs with their teeth in each other's necks, I guess they would still be content to have their world revolve around these two things. I do remember reading in ferret books that if you want a docile lap ferret, you have to let them know that even if they wriggle, you are not going to let them down. I have also noticed that they are capable of a wide variety of behaviors, but we don't always elicit them. I would love it if I could take them out of their cage when I got home and have them continue to sleep in my arms the way they do with my daughters, but they tend to be more excitable with me. However, I am the only one they come up to and put a paw on, for treats or to be picked up for a quick smooch. My husband is the only one Rustle ambushes (and one day I have to post on THAT little problem). Different people seem to bring out different aspects of their personalities. With you as the one person in their world, you may have to vary your approach on occasion to let them know they can't stay in their little rut with you. You may have to insist on holding them. ( I don't insist on that with mine, because I kind of admire the restlessness and high spirits I see in them, but I see that they do "need" holding, too, but they can get that from my daughters.) No, Rustle and Archie are not kissy ferrets, either, and I don't feel the steady glow of utter adoration from them that I did from my dog. But I know they love me, and I know we have a deep bond. I can tell by how they take a minute here and there out from their romping and mayhem to come up to me, when they know that I have nothing to give them but a kiss on the head and a quick cuddle. Oh, and here is something very important, speaking of the bond. In my experience, this can take quite a while to develop in a ferret who has lived with other people first. Rustle and Archie were both "rescues", too. The first summer they lived with us, we left them at a friend's for a week when we went on vacation, and they had a blast playing with her ferrets and were none the worse for wear. By the second summer they had bonded much more closely to us, and didn't do so well at the friend's house, even though it was the same situation as before. (So from now on, where we go, they have to go.) So give them some more time, be firm in teaching them what you expect or need from them, and recognize the signs of ferrety love in the ways that they are interacting with you now! Hope this helps! Jennifer [Posted in FML issue 2549]