Dear Miss Pookie: I've been looking at the pictures Mommy took when she was at your house. My, you such an attractive lady. I especially like the picture of you in your "Mae West Pose" that Mommy puts up on her computer. It makes me swoon........ I was wondering, do you have a serious SO in your life? I mean, I know you have them hunky hob boys there with you and all, and so many to chose from right in your own house. But perhaps you would consider a bit of a younger man, who for now is a few states away? Mommy calls me her little "dirty white boy" but today I had a bath (it was so fun!) and I am really white and smell very nice, Mommy tells me. I also have, according to Mommy, very pretty little red eyes. (Although Val and Andy like to make Mommy mad and call me Mommy's lab rat, I know they love me....) I have really good manners (of course, I cannot expect to come close to your Southern Manners, but I will try......) I don't bite, except to play like the time I made Daddy's toe bleed when I tried to drag him to my hidey hole when he was sitting on that white thing in the bathroom that holds the water that goes around and around when they push that handle.... Dear Miss Pookie, I think that we could have such a great time together. I am a strong boy and I would protect you when some of the other ferrets don't have good manners and try to go places you don't want them to go. I would share my raisins and Cheerios with you. I even get along with the bald poodle that is visiting you that Mommy calls her "little sister." Please think about my request, dearest Miss Pookie. Meanwhile, I will go to sleep dreaming of you in my favorite picture. Yours Forever, Snowball "Behind The Zion Curtain (whatever that is. Mommy says we're here......)" [Posted in FML issue 2547]