Hi all. Tuesday, October 27, 1998 Claudia left us to go over the Bridge. I know some people find these weepy posts pathetic and annoying, but this is therapy for me; I need to tell you about her so I don't forget all her wonderful qualities, and so I have a written record of how I feel about her. Claudia was a little chocolate mitt MF ferret that was my one and only pet store purchase. Yes, she was an impulse buy, but she fit in nicely with Ian and Elektra. When Claudia was about a year old, she developed bladder stones. But she developed cystine bladder stones, not the struvite usually found in cats and ferrets. She had them removed. Six months later, she had even more removed. We had tried everything after the first surgery -- diet, special supplements -- and nothing work. I sent letters to every ferret contact on Pam Troutman's STAR* list, hoping someone could help. No one could. After her second surgery, Dave (just a boyfriend/roommate then) and I decided that unless we could do something to help her we'd have to put her to sleep because we weren't going to put her through surgery every six months of her life. With the help of Dr. Tom Kawasaki, we came up with an experimental drug regimen that slowed the stone-building process way down. She didn't have another surgery until she was four, and never had another stone surgery after that. We tested her blood frequently but the drugs didn't do any damage to her. Already with one strike against her, at age 4 1/2 we discovered that she had cardiomyopathy. Dr. Charlie Weiss discovered this when I went in to have him look at what I suspected were adrenal problems (classic hair loss). Claudia had always had a heart murmur, but it developed into something more by age 4. Dr. Weiss was leery about the surgery for adrenal, but did it anyway because she was in pretty good health otherwise. Not only did he remove her left adrenal, he removed most of her right adrenal too, and took a big tumor off her pancreas. Never, in all the times she had to suffer medicine and surgery, did Claudia's outlook ever change -- she was our "ferretiest' ferret. Always looking for mischief and feet to nip. Dr. Weiss took great care of Claudia's cardio. We had her checked every month to six weeks and had periodic heart X-rays done. He had her on lanoxin and furosemide (in addition to her two bladder stone meds) and she had been on the same dosage for almost two years. Last winter she was diagnosed with insulinoma and was put on yet another med (pred). Six months ago the adrenal problems came back. And despite all of these strikes against her, she never knew she was sick. I talked about Claudia in a private post a few months ago: Throughout all of her plights in life, Claudia has been the most consistently upbeat, wenchy and ferrety ferret I've ever seen. And I've had other surgeries on other ferrets. My husband is convinced she's alive today because of me, but I doubt that. She's too stubborn to get sick or die. If she can be like this until her dying breath then it's all been worth it. She's on five meds a day but she DOESN'T KNOW SHE'S SICK!! She's one special girl and although I'll miss her terribly when she goes, at least I know her problems will be at an end. The thoughts written then held true until the past few days. Claudia had an abscessed tooth a couple of months ago and she lost quite a bit of weight due to the infection. She never really regained her weight or her strength. For the last week I'd been hand-feeding her and for the last four days she couldn't walk because she was too weak. In the last two days, she'd been pooping on herself because she couldn't get up to go to the litter pan. Monday night I realized this was unfair to her spirit and to us. We were prolonging the inevitable. Yesterday, we took her in to be euthanized. Because they had to give her the heart injection (her blood pressure was too low for the regular shot) they gave her a dose of ketamine. I held her and talked to her and petted her as she drifted off to sleep, and then she just quit breathing and within a few minutes she was gone. Dave and I went at lunch so as not to involve our 18-month-old daughter. We brought Claudia home last night to be buried, and then I showed Sarah the body and said "All gone." She petted Claudia and repeated "all gone." We buried Claudia in the back yard under the pear tree and Dave made a little headstone for her. A couple hours later I found Sarah standing at the back door saying "all gone" and kissing the door. What a bittersweet moment. This morning Sarah helped me let the other ferrets out and as naturally I was weepy, I explained that I was sad because I missed Claudia. Sarah looked at the back door and waved and said "bye-bye." How can anyone emotionally hold up under that? My darling Claudia, we already miss you so much. Rest in peace, my sweet angel, until we meet again. Amy, Dave & Sarah (and their gaggle of non-giggling ferrets today) RIP Ian and Elektra RIP Claudia 1/30/91-10/27/98 [Posted in FML issue 2476]