Q: "Do you really own 22 ferrets?" A: No, 22 ferrets own me. Q: "Whats the diff between a polecat and a ferret?" A: One poops in the woods and the other under my desk. Domesticated ferrets are sweet, people-loving, corner-backing pets full of piss and vinegar. European polecats are not. Polecats are slightly smaller than ferrets, ferrets can have two reproductive heats a year compared to the polecat one, polecats can see shades of red and blue while ferrets see only some shades of red, ferrets walk in the open while polecats keep to the edges, polecats are smarter than ferrets, ferrets are not a muscular as polecats, polecats are strict territorialists while ferrets are adaptable to same-sex partnerships, ferrets come in albinist forms while polecats rarely survive such conditions, ferrets have a narrow postorbital constriction while polecats do not have much of one at all, the polecat brain is larger than the ferret, the ferret's eyes are at a slightly different angle than the polecat, the polecat climbs and jumps better than the ferret, and the ferret is prone to disease at a higher rate than polecats. Whew! Q: "My boss says ferrets are the same thing as the European Polecat because they have the same scientific name, but the dog is not the same as the wolf because they have different names. Is this true?" A: Truth? Truth is such a relative word. Relative to how much trouble you get into by telling it, that is. Ok, regardless of nomenclature, ferrets are to European polecats what dogs are to wolves, cats are to wildcats, pigs are to boar, turkeys are to wild turkeys, chickens are to junglefowl, goldfish are to carp, lab rats are to Norway rats, lab mice are to house mice, lop rabbits are to European rabbits, guinea pigs are to cavies, horses, cattle, llamas, camels, sheep and goats are to their extinct wild ancestors, and CaCa Fish and Gestapo agents are to elephant excretment. By the same token, you could say that ferrets are to European polecats that humans are to Neandertals, endangered Florida panthers are to common mountain lions, endangered Key deer are to white-tailed deer, threatened black-tailed deer are to mule deer, and CaCa Fishing Gestapo agents are to fedid pools of butt slime setting in the sun. In other words, they are all the same in terms of classification (regardless of the current nomenclature), but they are also different in that they have evolved differently than their wild progenators due to human selection--rather than natural selection--being the primary instrument of species evolution. The current method of mammalian nomenclaure does not specifically address domestication, so some domesticated species have the same name (ferrets, chickens, turkeys, pigs, etc.), while others have different names (dogs, cats, etc.). Since this non-uniformity reflects tradition, non-scientific bias, etc., and is not based on any particular scientific principle, *ANY* designation of a domesticated species is theoretically incorrect. Sooooooo, it is actually just as correct to label the ferret "Mustela furo" instead of "Mustela putorious furo" as it is to label the dog "Canis familiaris" instead of "Canis lupus familiaris" or the cat "Felis catus" instead of "Felis sylvestris catus." One domestication scientist has suggested all domestic animals lose their current binomials and be labeled "Mustela putorius f. domesticus" or "Canis lupus f. domesticus" (f. means forma). Others suggest domesticated species simply be labeled "Mustela domesticus" or "Felis domesticus." And still others think domestication is evolution, so domesticates should get their own binomial, such as "Mustela furo" or "Canis familiaris." The debate is yet to be resolved. You can't say a dog is more domesticated than a ferret for the same reasons you can't say a turtle is more evolved than a bird. Since each species, wild or domesticated, has its own unique history which makes direct comparisons rather difficult. For example, you might define "more evolved" as developing flight, thus the bird was more evolved. So what about insects? They fly. Or flightless birds, like the rhea or ostrich. Are they less evolved? Or flightless birds that fly underwater, like the penguin. See the problem? Domestication, like evolution, is relative to the species, making direct comparisons problematic. Q: "Do ferrets enjoy sex?" A: What's the ferret word for "Oh God?" I'm sure the preverted little monkeys do. They sure squeal while getting it on. Sound like little piggies. Bob C and 22 Mo Weasels of Wisdom [Posted in FML issue 2437]