I IS OFF! Got three little mosters in the front seat, and on my way. Well, ok, just as soon as I email this. I am getting an unfortuante late start because I essentially died today. Really. Ok, I didn't, but I wished I had. I've got to tell you, I can deal with pain, but ITCHING!!! is torture! And I feeeeeeel bad (wah!). Not only do I look silly, but I've just found out kiddies are tougher than me. I have to apologize to all the people who are waiting for me to answer the deep pile of email that is backed up on me. I managed to wade about 1/2 way through, but there are still hundreds left to go. Sorry, just not enough time in the day these last two weeks. I'll try to answer what I can while on the road. Sukie, I just read about your two losses. I am sincerely sorry and offer my deepest sympathies. You are a good friend--even through we have never actually met--and it is very hard to lose one, much less two so close together. Sam, I just read you are leaving Saturday from LA. Gosh, I'm sorry I'll be so far away. I guess I'll just have to go to NZ and sleep on *your* floor. Have a nice (long) flight, and thanks for the yellow monster. And the beer. And the chance to make fun of your funny accent. Bill, I'm not sure about what is being said about your ferrets and housing, but I was there and they are one healthly pack-o-rats! Your Swedish ferts are the biggest I've seen pert-near anywhere (I can say pert-near because I live in Missouri). Your housing is as good or better than most other breeders or shelters I seen in my travels. 'Course, not one was as perty as my Carbone or Tui, but, hey, you can't have everything! ;-) Just remember, storms revitalize the ecosystem. I don't know what that means, but it sure sounds good. Hang in there. And a special note to the thoughtful young lady who wrote to me privately, suggesting I was a lackey for the "Vetarinarian-Pharmasuitical-Meat Packing Complex." You are right....I do get kick-backs from vets, which finance my frequent road trips and feed my hordes of house-roving ferrets. Yes, Jeffery Dalhmer did collect bones from defenseless dead animals. And yes, my goal is the brainwashing of ferret people in attempts to get them to feed "poor defenced mice" to their vegan ferrets. Damn! My secret is out! How did you know? Now, I'll have to call in a "cleaning squad." Get paranoid...get very, very paranoid....LOOK OUT!! A vet is behind you right now! Be careful or they will innoculate you! You guys should *see* some of the mail I get. I save and post the really good stuff on a "bhored" in my room, along with headlines from "World New Weekly," my favorite reading material after the "Journal of Improbable Research" and "Mad." But this FML stuff is tame. I still have a letter (from when I was a photojournalist) from a man who said my pictures made him sick, and sent along a sample. Or the guy that mailed me a box of dirt; that was good. Or the time my driver-side window was smeared with some sort of bodily waste, with the words "maggot" written in it, set off with a garland of TP tied to the antenna; a charitable act performed by some Arkansan teamsters during a strike. That was the best. But name calling? HA! I have found many people can be brave when they set behind locked doors, in dimmly lit rooms, typing on a keyboard. Name-calling behind anonymous addresses is a coward's bravery. But then, maybe that is all the courage they have.... Bob C sans 22 Mo Ferts but with three on the road. [Posted in FML issue 2428]