The FML is the size of a small town; it also has been around for over 10 years. Both that degree of longevity and that size are extremely unusual; having them TOGETHER is virtually unknown. Yes, some small lists are friendlier but that is BECAUSE they are so small and often comprised of people who do not have differing opinions. Some new lists are friendly for a while simply because people are excited to be in something new. The FML is among a very select group of lists given its size and age, and has a great deal warranting pride. How do I know this? It's part of my hubby's job to be aware of such things and to work with internet anthro, sociology and psych experts, such as Steve Cisler and Bonnie Nardy. (Yes, there is are specialties of anthro, sociology and psychology for internet studies.) Have any of you EVER lived in a town which does not have a few people in each of these categories: curmudgen, grump, flame-baiter, whiner, complainer, insult-lobber, prankster, prankster-with-exceedingly-bad-taste, bigot, fool, self-adulator, jerk-who-tries-to-get-others-to-fight-with-each-other, liar, person-who-is-growing-confused-in-a-defensive-fashion, back-stabber, or assorted other types of trouble-mongers (some intentional, some non-intentional, some because they won't mature, some because of medical damage such as multiple small strokes)? If so, where is that town? It would probably attract any number of researchers for doing what no community that size has ever achieved. Face it, any community of any size is going to have folks who create difficulties to be surmounted, or will run into situations which will cause conflicts, or will have it's normally friendly citizens have their own bad days when things spill over. I don't know if it extends to an internet community but in living ones I have often noticed that those who have the most difficult time with this are often: people who often get others annoyed with some of their more out-there statements but then expect others who disagree to be muzzled, people who haven't yet been in the world enough years to know this is the norm for any community, people who crave attention and haven't figured out a constructive way to get it, control freaks, egotists, folks who haven't toughened up yet, etc. Look at any town and you'll see what I mean. Now, look at the FML. How different are we, actually? Okay, everyone in this town either has ferrets or wants some, but otherwise we are a diverse community just like any you'll ever make home. So, do what you do with any town you live in: make the most of it. The vast majority of people here are friendly and try hard to help others. If you find yourself noticing too strongly the ones who are not, then ask yourself why they are your focus. Is it a topic being discussed? Find a constructive way to tackle the subject and show them by example how it SHOULD be done. Is it just that there is disagreement? If so, you are going to have problems in a lot of places till you come to accept that this is the norm anywhere and anytime. The FML has acheived being a long-standing, good sized internet town and that IN AND OF ITSELF says that it is an unusual success story, one of which we all are a part, with Bill being the one most to thank for holding it all together through extreme levels of work and patience every single day, so THANKS, BILL! Thanks also to those who help Bill, and to everyone here who helps make this such a vibrant town and who helps find constructive ways to deal with our natural share of trouble-makers or disagreements. Sukie [Posted in FML issue 2441]