[Moderator's note: Todd received permission to post this on the FML from the author of this article. Way to go Todd! This was posted in two parts -- they've been combined into one. BIG] The following story was in my local newspaper today. The author just reported the story and made no comment as to the care of the ferret. Please do not flame him. I have removed the last name of the person and where they worked, to maintain her privacy. This article is in two parts. By Jeff Hawkes, Intelligencer Journal Staff, Lancaster, PA, Thursday, August 27, 1998 The escapades of adventurous Sneaky Stinky Stinky, for all his adorable, cuddly looks, was an ornery little ferret. He bit and scratched and had Brooke wondering last summer if she had made a mistake. "He was lunging at my face," said Brooke, 21, whose hands were repeatedly cut by her new pet. "I've had pets my whole life. My animals always loved me back." Ferrets are long, slinky animals related to weasels. Inquisitive, mischievous rascals, they are as different from cats and dogs as cats and dogs are different from each other. Brooke was drawn to their distinctive, irresistible style, with their soft, luxurious coats and heartbreaking eyes staring out from raccoon-like masks. She resolved to tame her 8-week-old kit. To cure Stinky of nipping, Brooke sprayed her hands with a foul-tasting substance. Stinky just bit her someplace else. Another ferret owner suggested squirting Stinky with water, but Brooke figured Stinky would consider it a game. Hitting Stinky was also out of the question. It would only teach him to strike back. "You have to be patient and loving," Brooke said of training ferrets, "even when they are not loving you." Taming Stinky So Brooke had Stinky's front paws declawed and started a behavior modification technique of pressing a finger against his tongue each time he bit. She also gave him time-outs in his cage. But mostly she lavished Stinky with love and attention. She started taking him with her wherever she went. Brooke carried Stinky in an open purse as she walked downtown, dined out or shopped. Stinky would pop his head out, delighting everyone he encountered. "My friends thought I had lost it," Brooke said. But the attention worked. In a matter of months Stinky was so tame Brooke gave him the run of the house. Stinky wasn't much for cuddling, but he stuck close to Brooke. He licked her toes when she stepped out of the shower. He was under her feet when she cooked. He crawled into a shoe when se got dressed. Stinky charmed Brooke with his endearing soft cooing and his silly backwards dance. Even his mischief didn't seem so bad. He stole things, hid food all over the place and knocked dirt from a planter onto Brooke as she slept. "They're just so curious, just constantly into things," Brooke said. "Their curiosity overrides their intelligence. That's the thing that gets them into trouble." Losing Stinky Eight nights ago, a Wednesday, Stinky escaped. Brooke figures he slinked past as she entered her downtown apartment. Distraught, Brooke posted about 100 signs around town, offering a reward for Stinky's return. But as the days passed, Brooke started to think Stinky was gone for good. Ferrets don't survive long on their own. They don't hunt. And city traffic poses a constant threat. Brooke, a manicurist and a waitress, cried and moped. She went to a pet store and looked at ferrets. But she didn't want another ferret. She wanted Stinky. Monday night, a miracle happened. Brooke checked her answering machine, and a woman named Naomi said she had her ferret. Brooke went right over to the Pershing Avenue home full of children. The family said they found Stinky in the 200 block of East Orange Street. He was running with a cat and almost got hit by a car. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Brooke gushed. She tried to give them money, but they refused. Stinky looked no worse for wear. Brooke gave him a bath and he slept soundly. "He's pleased with himself," said Brooke, cradling Stinky and rubbing his ears. "He got his little walkabout." She imagined him asking, "What took you so long, Mom?" "Because you're a punk," she told him. "That's why." E-Mail is welcome at [log in to unmask] Todd and the (Hey...when do *we* get to be in the news?) Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns! Todd and the (Misti is lost...check lost and found!) Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns! --- [log in to unmask] http://users.success.net/toddl/ [Posted in FML issue 2415]