Ohio gozaimasu Kuroitachi! [J.] Good morning Ferrets! In your dream of floating above downtown Tokyo, could that be what you heard, ah so desuka? (Isn't that right?) Oh well, maybe that's quite a stretch I'll admit. But out here in Frettchenvergnuegen Land of Seattle there's quite a large Japanese community, and it's diffficult not to learn a little Japanese language and culture. It's interesting to note that Japanese culture defines ferrets in a unique manner to differentiate them from the human. For example, my name, Lipinski, is spoken as Lipinski-san. The animals name is hyphenated "chan" rather than "san." My Japanese customer by name of Yoshizumi Oba (Oba-san) boards his silver mitt hob ferret here frequently when he trips between Seattle and LA or between Seattle and Japan. His ferret's name is Bean. However, on the Boarding Agreement, his ferret's name, Bean, is always entered as "Bean-chan" whereas Yoshi's name is always entered as "Oba-san." Another aspect of Japanese culture is "Haiku." This is simple poetry, very ancient, and must always consist of three lines with syllable requirements of 5, 7, and 5. Here is an example: Thanks, Ms. Lipinski you're a welcome diversion from Ms. Lewinsky 10.) Jockey Ferret Contest. This event is relatively simple and quite comical. The children love it and are eager to compete. The owner goes down on all fours. The ferret is placed on the owners back, just about where a saddle would be worn. A netter runs alongside the crawling owner and fields a long handled, large salmon fishing net. The idea here is to net the ferret in the event the ferret decides to dismount before the race ends. So far, this has never happened, but it certainly excites curiosity from the park passers-by and the joggers. As you may imagine, it's quite an extraordinary sight. Objective: The "horsie" has 30 seconds maximum to crawl on all fours the greatest distance possible in the shortest time to complete a round-trip of a 25-foot long grass course. Eash contestant has the option to two trial runs and may select the fastest course time. They quickly learn that an abrupt start uses up one of their two trial runs. Also the contestant is not permitted to hold the ferret in any position during his "gallop." If the ferret dismounts the contest is concluded at that place and time. 11.) Balloon Burtsters Contest. Another very simple event. Four fully inflated balloons are corner positioned in a wire ferret cage. The cage measures 24" X 18" X 14" and has a large top-opening door. The contestant's ferret is placed inside the cage and the door closed. Objective: Within the time period of 60 seconds the time for the ferret to burst the first balloon is recorded. It's suggested that the ferret be removed quickly from the cage thereafter, since once the first balloon is burst, the ferret very quickly attacks the remaining three balloons, although not all ferrets do this. The contestant must inflate all the balloons his ferret burst to ready the cage for the following contestant's ferret. No ferret has injested any balloon or part thereof in this contest. It's no secret that some contestants' ferrets get a lot of practice popping inflated balloons at home the day before the Olympics. Ex post facto. [L.] After the deed is done. [F]erret [E]ndowment for [R]esearch, [R]ehab, [E]ducation & [T]raining [S]ociety, NorthWest F E R R E T S NW, E. Lipinski, Director. Ferret events 3 times/year: last Sundays of January (New Year Party) and Jun and Aug (Ferret Frolics/Olympics) _____________________________________________________________________ Edward Lipinski, Frettchenvergnuegen from the Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuehrer ! Frettchenvergnuegen [G.] Joy of Ferrets. F...fuehrer [G.] Ferret frolics leader. [F]erret [E]ndowment for [R]esearch,[R]ehab, [E]ducation & [T]raining [S]ociety, NorthWest. [Posted in FML issue 2224]