Dear FrettchenVolk [G] Ferret People, Wie geht's? is an informal querry one might hear in Berlin, and is taken to mean: How's it going (with you)? ["W" is pronounced as "V", as Vee] My answer, at my age, is: Well, the gates alright, but the hinges are sure getting rusty. Ha-Ha; chuckle, chuckle. To speak of kinda funny things, I'm reminded of a front page picture of a winner at the local pet show here in Seattle: 'twas a photo of a cat. This prize winner cat had big, big ears like a fox - absolutely gigantic ears. And, it eyes were as big as those of an owl, huge eyes. But, get this: it was stark, bloody naked. Or, at least so it looked; any hair it had was mighty sparse. It's chest was quite small, but its hindquarters and belly appeared ungainfully large and distorted. It looked anything but lithe and swelt. True, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, to be sure, but this poor creature was just plain UGLY. Its picture in the paper was there possibly because it was an unusual cat. It was bred over many generations to look the way it does. It was bred over many generations to look the way it does, because some hewman (actually a woman) wanted it to look that way. Her reason for wanting a cat of such gross appearance (gross to me) is (?) - who knows? I don't know; the only thing I do know is that I do not like the idea of people breeding animals (cats in this case) to produce the "unusual," the distorted, disgusting and dimensionally disfigured. So one might ask, who are the people who want, who work hard, to produce such abhorent caricatures of naturally good-looking, species efficient animals? The answer my friends, is anybody who produces, supports, endorses, or upholds animal shows. This most certainly includes ferret shows. We are yet early in the historical development of ferret shows. Most of these shows are run by women, the fair sex. Aye matey, be they fair, they are truly the most deadly of the species, and I cite Rudyard Kipling: When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws, They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws, 'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale, For the female of the species is more deadly than the male. To deny that species modification pressure is applied as a direct consequence of ferret shows is patently absurd. We have already seen it in the tragic development of the so-called "angora" ferrets, and with catastrophic results. If you have 1/2 ounce of love for the ferret, I urge you to boycott, to abhore, and to travail against any ferret show wherein breed anomolies are held aloft as the supreme goal. Seek out the ferret that is improved in behavior, intelligence, compatability, longevity, health hardiness and affection, rather than in appearance solely. It's so sad that the typical ferret show esteems the latter primarily. And certain as night follows the light, keep aware that where the blue ribbon goes, there goes the money trail. Blue ribbons, without too much effort, can be shown to be the path to exhorbitant prices for the DNA-mangled ferret. Without a doubt, it's greed, exhultation, pride and societal preeminance that goads the ferret showist: to wit - I'm (my ferrets) better than you (yours are). Finally, consider the true heart of the human being who has been recognized as a superior ferret breeder and may have a wall full of blue ribbons. If she really has in her heart the improvement and health of the ferret species, she would not charge an arm and a leg for her kits, but would contrairly offer samples of their bloodline (at cost plus) for the world-wide improvement of all ferrets. Sorry, but true I fear; it's not in the nature human, especially the female. Ab imo pectore. [L.] From the bottom of the heart. Edward Lipinski, Frettchenvergnuegen from the Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuehrer ! Frettchenvergnuegen [G.] Joy of Ferrets. F...fuehrer [G.] Ferret frolics leader. [F]erret [E]ndowment for [R]esearch,[R]ehab, [E]ducation & [T]raining [S]ociety, NorthWest. [Posted in FML issue 2222]