Dear Ferreteers, It is with a heavy heart that I come before you tonight to confess. In years to come, Arcadia fert moms & dads will raise their fists to the sky and curse my name & they will be right, friends, they will be right. Yet, I meant no harm. My crime was innocent, no malice intended. I remember it as if it were yesterday (ok, so maybe it was Wednesday, I've had a long weekend!). There I was, after a long day of cage cleaning, bite training, ferret hugging, belly scratching, poop checking, kiss giving, belly blowing, ... basic ferret loving stuff...I was tired, I admit it. I wasn't thinking. I decided to go to bed. I (prepare yourself, I will tell you all) took my sneakers off & left them by the bed. Yes, I did, I admit it publicly. When I woke up, one sneaker was underneath the bed & one was behind the TV. I didn't think I'd been out of control the night before, but it'd been a brutal week, so I let it go. When I returned home from work, one sneak was buried in a pillow that had fallen to the floor, the second has yet to be found, and Stubby was asleep, head first, in a loafer. Yes, friends, I created FLO operatives out of the Arcadia rescues. With the speed of ferrunication, they all seemed to know that shoes were fair game. I have found loafers in my sheets, sneakers in my sink, and pumps in the underwear drawer. I have seen Hugh leapfrog over Bogart to get to a slide, I have seen Sadie fight my Rikki over a sandal. I have caught both Boris & Natasha plotting access to my vitamin bottles. Friends, I am so sorry. When I took in these lovely fosters, I thought 'Aww, aren't they the cutest...' Little did I know. FLO operatives in training every one - smart, cunning, and guilty. When caught & reprimanded they have heart melting "But, Mommmm" faces...Sarge, are you sure you don't live in Fla? So, to all my dear future Arcadia adopters, I apologize. Maybe in a less careless home, maybe with a more vigilant mom, your sneakers will be safe. All I wanted to do was sleep barefoot... With a heavy heart, your guilty friend, Paula [Posted in FML issue 2184]