Hi folks! It us. We just wanted to wish everybodys the bestest Christmas that ever was! We was hopin' that Paw Paw would get finished with his new Christmas story in time for this year, but he just ain't had time to get it all writ down yet. Guess we'll have to wait till next Christmas. Anyways, we done checked with Mr. BIG and he said it would be OK if'n we sented last year's story in again on account of because they's so many new folks on the FML what probably ain't done read it yet. So here it is.... Many much loves, Tater and Odie The Spirit of Christmas And it came to pass, so long ago, that He Who Sees All, Knows All and Loves All - the One Who made the Rainbow Bridge and lovingly looks after all who enter there, looked upon the earth with a saddened heart. "I'm sad," He said. "It's just not working out the way that I thought it should. Perhaps I was wrong in creating this mess. Perhaps I should start over? Maybe I could do better next time?" He brooded and fretted for an everlong time; sent plagues and deprivations in an attempt to convince Himself to change His mind, and to try to feel better about the creation He had created. "I really hate being this way," He often said. "But I'll be hanged if these two-legged creatures will ever claim to be a part of Me. They're much too filled with their evil ways and pious conceit to fit into My plans. Yet, try as I might, I can't bring Myself to wipe them out. Guess I'm just not cut out to be a bad guy - no matter how hard I try. But, still..." Lucky for us, a ferret chose that moment to crawl up God's robes and to lick Him on the nose. God snuffled and sneezed for a moment or two - almost got madder than He already was. The ferret licked God's face and gave Him a loving kiss that only a ferret could give. "Hang on a moment, little fellow," God said as He regained His composure. "Why are you so happy when I'm so sad? I'm just before blasting all of creation to hell and gone and, here you are, tickling My whiskers - trying to cheer Me up." The ferret was much too busy to hear the reproach in his Maker's voice. He climbed up God's long and flowing white beard until his mouth was next to God's left ear. The ferret dooked, took a deep breath, and whispered a single word. "Christmas," the ferret said. "Christmas?" God said as He echoed the word the ferret had spoken to Him. "Now, that's an interesting sounding word, one that I've never heard before. What can it mean?" Without speaking again, the ferret - his name was Jesse by the way - gave God a wet-nosed kiss on the cheek, scampered down his Maker's long robes and disappeared from sight as he war danced onto an adjoining cloud. "Strange little creature," God mused as He watched the ferret bounce around in it's unique way. "I'll have to admit that he seems to be filled with fun and a simple joy. We could use a bit more of that around here. Still, he has me curious. 'Christmas' - that's a nice sounding word. I wonder what it means?" A few days passed in that special part of heaven called the Rainbow Bridge. A few thousand years passed on earth. Men fought wars; nations rose and nations died. God did His best to ignore all the mess that was happening in His creation. He was tempted many times to send the earth spiralling into the sun and to be done with all the nonsense that kept making Him sad and making Him mad. The only thing that stopped Him was the nagging thought that He must understand what the ferret had meant when he whispered that single word, "Christmas." God was almost out of patience and curiosity when the ferret returned. If the truth were told, He had just reached into the deepest recesses of His robe and had pulled out a Mighty handful of thunderbolts. He was just about to fling them when He spied countless ferrets romping toward His throne. Well, the ferrets weren't romping exactly, for they were heavy-laden. Each of them was carrying something as best they could in their paws or in their mouths. In spite of Himself, God instantly found a smile beginning to form on His bearded lips. As He watched, the ferrets gathered around Him and laid their burdens at His feet. God stared in awe as He realized that the ferrets were bringing Him their most treasured possessions. The contents of every hidey-hole in heaven and on earth were being deposited at His feet. The Mighty handful of thunderbolts fell from God's hand, forgotten and unused. "Why?" He sputtered. "Why are you doing this?" The ferrets said nothing; simply deposited their gifts and bounded off, dooking and singing in their own ferret way. As the last of the treasure was placed at His feet, God spied a familiar friend. It was Jesse. The ferret was walking proudly, tail erect, toward the throne of his Maker. Beside him walked his only child - a kit whose name was Jesse Junior. Without a word, they both began to climb up God's white robes. Jesse Junior paused as he reached a fold in the robes, exchanged a few snuzzles with his father, climbed into the robes, and snuggled up next to God's heart. Jesse Senior looked sad for the briefest of moments, then continued his climb. When he reached his Maker's left shoulder, he stood up on his hind paws and reverently whispered into God's left ear. "Christmas," he said. Having, once again, spoken that enigmatic word into his Maker's ear, Jesse licked God's cheek and scampered down His robes, pausing briefly at the small, warm lump next to God's heart. At the foot of God's throne, he poked his nose into an empty raisin box - one of the many gifts the ferrets had brought - and, satisfied that the box was empty, bounded off - for there was much ferret business to attend to that day. God sat silently upon His throne for a very long time, a puzzled frown was on His bearded face. He thought thoughts that He had never thought before; felt feelings He had never felt before. He gazed upon the great pile of gifts that the ferrets had brought to Him, and smiled. "I suppose that a casual observer would consider this to be the most colossal collection of junk ever to be collected in one place," He laughed. "To Me, it's the greatest treasure that has ever existed. The ferrets have given Me everything they had to give - joyfully and without any expectation of a gift in return." A small tear glistened in the corner of God's right eye - a tear of joy and of gratitude. God was content even though He was still a little puzzled. The tear in God's eye swelled and rolled down His cheek - lost itself amongst the whiskers of the great white beard. "You, little one," God sighed to the tiny ferret snuggled next to His heart, "You are the greatest treasure, the most perfect gift of all. For in bringing you here your father has given to Me his all - his very hope for the future. I think I understand now. "Christmas - what a wonderful idea. I think that I'll feel much better if I give a gift too." Later that night, a bright new star shown in the sky over a small town called Bethlehem. Shepherds, angels, kings and creatures gathered reverently around a humble stable and heard the sound of a Baby's first cry. Christmas had come to the Earth. Joy to the World! copyright 1996, Michael J. Schieman [Posted in FML issue 2165]