Sissy ferrets? SISSY ferrets. Sissy FERRETS. Nope, no matter how I try to say it and where the emphasis is put, it just doesn't seem to make any sense at all. Not once in over three and a half decades of being around ferrets have I once come across anything that remotely resembles a sissy ferret. I have come across the occasional ferret of a genteel nature and even one or two who seemed to prefer listening to Broadway show tunes over Alice Cooper, but none of them even came close to being what one could call a sissy. Every ferret I have ever known has been adventurous, boisterous, rowdy, and fun loving -- in short, the epitome of what we all know and love as a ferret. What one person who posts here would call a Real Ferret. Friends, unless some of us are harboring minks, weasels, otters or some other long, slinky, furry critter, we all have real ferrets. The only faux ferrets I know are either plaster statues or plush stuffed toys. And, I wouldn't even call them sissy ferrets. I just wouldn't call them real ferrets. As for ferret health, I personally believe that there are a lot of factors involved with the overall health or lack of health of our ferrets. It has nothing at all to do with them being sissies or real ferrety ferrets. I firmly believe that what we feed our ferrets has an impact on their general health. It's not just the type of basic food -- although, I do believe that the type of food fed to our ferrets does matter -- it is also the type of snacks we feed our ferrets. It's a fact, ferrets love junk food as much as we humans do. And some people just can't resist giving in to those bright, pleading eyes. The problem is, those junk foods fill their little tummies and provide them no nutritional value and also curb their appetites for the good food they should be eating. And before anyone gets the idea that I am stepping up on an "I'm-holier-than-thou" soapbox, I'm not. I must admit that I do give in to those fuzzy bandits and give them an occasional treat of Raspberry Newtons. I do try to justify the once a week treats by telling myself that it is only four Newtons divided between 24 ferrets. But, it is still a treat they don't need and I know it. We all know about the importance of exercise and most of us see to it that the ferrets for whom we care have several hours a day minimum free of their cages to romp and explore. In addition to the exercise, I add bright natural sunlight to that equation. The ferret room -- no high blown ferritoriums here -- is situated so that it receives natural sunlight nearly all day long. The shades are drawn up early in the morning to allow the cheerful rays of the sun to flood the room. I don't know if it has a provable healthy benefit on the ferrets, but I do know that they seem to like it and will seek out the brightest spots of the room for their naps. They like it, it does them no harm, and that is enough for me. It is true that there are some ferrets who do seem more prone to disease and illness than others. Face it, just as some humans are prone to ill health, the same is true of ferrets and any other animal -- it doesn't make them sissies or less real than other ferrets. Some of the illnesses may be attributed to questionable breeding practices, some to not recognizing early symptoms or seeking treatment for early symptoms when they are spotted. This mailing list, ferret newsletters, and online chats are wonderful sources for information and have certainly saved countless ferret lives. But, these sources should not be used as the primary diagnostic tool. The single best diagnostic tool is still a physical, hands on examination by a vet. I know that a trip to the vet can be expensive, but there is no better way to be sure that a diagnosis is correct. During ferret chats, my standard answer to the question "What is wrong with my ferret?" is "Take your ferret to the vet and get him checked out." It is not because I can't tell the signs of insuloma, or adrenals, or distemper. But rather, because a vet has the training and equipment to rule out other possible illnesses as well and provide a much more accurate diagnosis than any cyber diagnosis can ever match. People get different pets for different reasons. But, whatever the reason, when we choose to bring a pet into our homes, we enter into a mostly unspoken contract with that pet. In return for the love, companionship, and enjoyment the pet brings us, we agree to provide for its care and well-being. That means spending money on vet visits, the best possible food, and anything else that will enhance the well-being of the pet. The good thing is that most of us seem willing to do that as best we can without labeling the ferret as a sissy or real ferret. There just ain't no such critters. There are foolish people, but that's a different matter entirely. In the ferret world, there are just ferrets and you gotta love 'em. F. Scott Giarrocco Jopal Ferret Haven Rehabilitation Shelter "When you know not of what you speak, your mouth is best used for chewing." -- Uncle Snavely [Posted in FML issue 2141]