Just had my buttocks chewed by a good friend in CaCa land for not posting anything. Ooops. Sorry. Actually, I am near the end of a poisoning session with the good doctors, and a nasty little side effect is baddly blurred vision. Can't drive, read or even watch TV. Elizabeth has been reading stuff to me, but has been gone to Chicago for the last week on school-related activities, so I have just been a bad boy and have been skipping the mail. Heck, I haven't even been to school for several weeks; just lounging near the bathroom and playing with the ferrets. But she just got back, so in the next few days she has promised to help me out with the mail and I'll try to do some answering. And she should help because she is driving my bright red car. Hey Oregon people. Sandy is doing so good on the steroids that we have cut them back by a third. She is covered with thick white hair, except for her tail, and the latest radar images show the cancer storm to be heading south. I was originally told she wouldn't make it 'til Christmas. ha! Trillian weighed in at 3.5 lbs!!! She is like a hand muff with black eyes. What a porker! Sam, Crystal and Fraggle are sound, healthy and happy. Hey Kansas People. Apollo will be going under the knife in December for adrenal surgery. He just started losing butt and tail hair recently, and the blood tests say uh-oh, so I am not wasting any time. We are just waiting for him to put on a little winter weight before the deed. Ballistic, Simon, and Nosette are doing just fine. Foster is a new man, running around looking for pieces of chicken. Being half blind I can't cook, right? So I've been eating lots of Chinese takeout and KFC. Foster stole a drumstick and ate the entire thing; all I found was a few splinters of diaphyseal bone left in his "nest." When I collected them for further analysis, he just burped rudely. Hey Washington People. Carbone is *NOT* a ferret. He's a stunted Great Dane. He just weighed in at 4.5 lbs, maybe 5% body fat. White nose and eyebrows, black as burned toast (which I've been eating alot lately) and born to be wild. Dumb as a post, but that's probably because he is, well, uh, starting to grow stuff "down there" and testosterone poisoning is known to make one stupid. Jezabell and Amber are best buds and chase each other and me all over the house. Jet is the best. She prefers "Bobio" to Bob, and constantly burrows into my long, flowing hair. If in a tail, she does her best to remove the stretchy thingie. And Jump? Not her. She levitates. Truth. She jumped from the arm of the futon to a hanging minature tree (about 2 feet) and caught the tassle things hanging down. She climbed the tassles, dug into the plant until it dove over the side (did I hear a, uh, "bonsai" as it fell?), then leaped another two feet to the top of a cabinet to go sailing with my prized model of the HMS Beagle. I'm sure Darwin would have said something about Jet's natural selection if he knew how much time I spent building that boat and how much time I would have to spend fixing it. I briefly considered playing "Rocky and Bullwinkle" and seeing how far Jet could fly, but she looked so cute tangled up in the rigging I just forgave her. Now I'll have to put off building my prehistoric boat series to fix the Beagle. Once I can see, that is. I should have known she could do it. She is, after all, Jet propelled. Tori, Bear, Chrys, Moose, Stella and Daye are all healthly fat and sassy. Stella is quite jealous of the kits, but they all get along just fine. Moose and Carbone are wrestlin' buds, and can play for hours. Thanks for all the email I haven't read, the get-well cards I have, and the occasional phone call. Don't worry; like a cockroach, I'll be back, running underfoot and making everyone queasy. Bob and 19 MO Carpet Monkeys and 1 MO Flying Fert (attempting to prove Darwin was right) [Posted in FML issue 2123]