HI FML! This is Elizabeth, daughter of Bad Bonehead Bob. Some of you might remember me from before. I am at dad's house and using his computer because I dropped mine and it is getting fixed. I'm also helping dad out with the ferrets for awhile, mailing his emails for him, so if I make any mistakes, then yell at him for it later, ok? Dad has talked me into posting once in a while. He said Bill G really missed the trouble I was causing. So I thought I would jump in and embarrase dad and make Bills life more interesting. So I have 2 stories about dad and the ferrets. Dad has been on some new really nasty medicines for his immunty stuff and one of the pills makes him sleep like the ferrets do when they are actually sleeping but really look dead. I just wait until he is asleep and ask for the keys to the red car and it works everytime. Anyhow, dad crashed on the automan with his head over one end and his legs over the other. Jet and Amber were running up his legs and racing across his back and leaping off his head to the rocker. This happened a lot, but finally Jet got all tangled up in dads hair and fell. But she didn't fall all the way, she just kind of hung there spining back and forth with her tail slapping dad in his open mouth. I think he was drooling. I ran over to unhook her, but dad jumped up and looked at me and asked what I was doing to him. He thought I was tickling him or something. In the meantime, Jet is hanging from dads head and squirming around like she is wardancing. So dad tells me to stop fooling around. About that time Jet caught on to something and climbed up and bit dad on his ear! Hard! So dad grabs Jet, looks her square in the eyes and bites her on the nose! Yuuck! Ferret boogers and everything! So Jet gos nuts and she and dad are chasing each other all over the front room biting each other. Finally Jet gets tired and so does dad, so they crashed on the futon together, with Jet curled up under dads sweatshirt. I think they are in love. The second story is about dad and Stella and dads new treadmill. He says he bought it to lose some of the computer around his waist, but I really think he bought it so I would comeover to run on it. Last week I came over and dad was on the floor in front of the machine saying stuff like, "you can do it" "just a little bit more"and "hit the wall sister". I looked closer and saw Stella on the treadmill which was running on its slowest setting. She was trying to catch up to a piece of seedless grape which dad was holding just out of her reach. She would run for it, stop, and get carried to the back and off on the floor, then she would jump up and try again. It was so funny to watch! Finally dad turned off the machine and Stella made it to the grape, grabbed it, and ran off and hid. I think she was afraid the treadmill would start running again. I laughed and asked dad why he was making Stella run on the treadmill and he said (and I quote again!) "Because the little football was having a hard time on the stairmaster." Hoped you liked reading these as much as I liked watching them. Dad is so nuts. Elizabeth Daughter of Bob and Chief assistant poop picker upper. [Posted in FML issue 2104]