Hi FMLers. This is Elizabeth, daughter of Wiseacher Bob, writing again. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for all the nice email about my recent tattling on dad. These last two got so much mail that I cant answer them all, so dad suggested I say it only once to everyone at the same time. So here it is (I hope it is ok) THANKS!! Alot of you want me to write more stories about dad, and one person thought I should write a book about dad and his ferrets because they are so funny. Thank you, but the trouble is dad isn't always funny. Sometimes I have to wait a long time before something silly happens. Ok, maybe not a really long time, but I do have to wait for him to be silly. Dad is still at the hotel writing, but he is calling me more now. He was only supposed to call once a night, but he called three times today. I think he is going crazy from writing stuff. Actually, I already think he is crazy, but that is a story to tell at the FML thingie next year. Dad said I could go with him to Florida to meet all of you, even though he thought it was dangerous for his reputation. I told him to be nice or I would bring along the notorious "Stella Tape." I've decided to go to MU next year (we will be an entire family of MU graduates!) and run for the school, so I will have my own account in the fall. I will live in the dorms so dad can't see all my boyfriends and threaten them anymore. I think I will miss having all the ferrets around, and I will also miss reading the FML with dad. You are all so funny! Anyway, I'm not really a member of the FML, but dad said it would be ok for me to say a few things about some of the posts I read. The sad posts about ferrets make me cry, but sometimes people aren't as lucky as me. If I have a problem, dad is always there to hold my hand, even if I caused it. Dad says the FML is like an electronic family, with all its squabbles and dislikes, and I think he is right. So it is natural for people to reach out to thier family for help. I like the idea that people can talk about sad things on the FML. A lady asked if I was real. Duh. You can read about me in the Missouri newspapers in track season. I'm the cute one winning. Boy, will dad tease me for that! Andrew is by brother, as are Glorida and Joshua. Dad adopted two of us and you can guess who because we don't care. Andrew is the youngest, and is a junior in high school, and I am a senior. Gloria and Josh are in college. As for what happened to mom and dad, you should mind your own business. I don't mean to be impolite, but that is pretty personal. That is all I will say to rude questions. I need to tell Bob Rudich that dad formated his funny devil post to make it look like a newspaper story, then printed it out on newsprint, turned it over and printed out a bogus ad for ferret toothpaste that tastes like the butts of California fish and game agents, then clipped it out like a newspaper clipping. He stuck it to his file cabinet next to some of his favorite clippings, like the bat boy, the devil coming out of the ground, and the old picture of Elvis. I read it and it is really funny. Anyway, I don't know which of the two of you have too much time on your hands. Dad once used photoshop to put his head on the body of some guy wearing a spece suit and carrying some girl out of a space ship. He calls the picture, "The Day the Bob Stood Still," but I don't get the joke. Lately he has been photoshoping ferret heads on politician's bodys, then puting those cartoon balloons over the heads to say funny things. The funniest one is a picture of Bill Clinton next to Hillary that dad took when he was a photographer. Dad replaced Hillarys head with Stella's head, and the cartoon balloon over Bill's head says, "Lets dook it out." Anyway, I thought it was funny. Thanks again for all the letters. Elzabeth (Dad's real daughter) [Posted in FML issue 1901]