Back from the SAA meetings, tired, have a nasty cold, and have three days of oral testing facing me. Anyone have a noose for sale, cheap? Q: (FML): "A special thank you to Bob Church...my uncle apparently knows him pretty well...his very nice wife, Sue...Isn't it interesting that ferret people are such friendly people???" A: Cool! A new wife! Never been married to a Sue before.... One small problem with your post: I am now a free man, I was married 18 years to Ann, not 15 or 16 to a Sue, and neither Elizabeth nor Ann remember such a conversation. But that's OK; there are two other Robert Churchs in my area, and one even has a couple of ferrets. I know about the others because I was arrested for having a bench warrant out for me because of unpaid traffic tickets. Wrong guy, everyone was sorry, and I got a get out of jail free card. I'm not saying you didn't actually have a conversation. Depending on the exact time of your call, you could have talked to Ann or Elizabeth. I am having trouble with someone who keeps bombing my e-mail and sending me dirty messages (it was past tense, but I just got another anonymous nasty-gram). If someone calls my old number, and Ann, Andrew or Elizabeth doesn't know them, they are given a line of bull, partly to source information "leaks" and partly because I am a very private person, don't apologize for it, and generally try to keep my private life private (I have actually ended relationships because of gossip). In any case, thanks for the "Attaboy!" Now, how do I find this Sue....? Q: (Private Post): You said [archaeological] ferret remains are very rare. Have any been found? A: I love it. Lost: one rare ferret....sounds like something from the Roadkill Cafe. Yes, I know of one very well documented site in Europe, reported in 1988. A ferret (with clipped teeth) was found in a castle midden dating to the late 13th to early 14th century. It was found in association with rabbit bones. The only other instance was reported at a conference about 6 years ago, but nothing has been published. I have an incomplete copy of the paper, and like many conference papers, it is sketchy, but it claims the ferret remains are prehistoric. There are also many instances of European polecat remains having been recovered. There is a possibility that some of them might in fact be ferrets, but until a method to distinguish one population from the other is worked out, you are forced to assume the remains are polecat, not ferret. The lack of ferrets in the archaeological record remains a mystery, and one I am determined to figure out. But it will take time. One of the biggest problems is a lack of skeletal remains for comparison, and not just from ferrets. Since skeletons respond to external and environmental influences, pet ferrets, breeding ferrets, neutered ferrets, working ferrets, feral ferrets, and polecats could all have slightly different skeletons. This is complicated by sexual and age differences and confusion with mink. In order to differentiate them, you need lots of skeletons for comparison, and the stockpiles just don't exist, even in Europe. I'm working on the problem, but it just takes time to build the data base. I'm hoping for some post-doc monies to visit Europe to help sort out this problem. Any volunteers with cash? Bob C and the 17 Ferrets Named Sue (How do you do?) (In Memory of Gus and Buddy) [Posted in FML issue 1896]