Bill, people "driven away" by your moderating with moderation? So, THAT'S how the FML got so HUGE? (Hey, you aren't called BIG for nothin'.) (Look fast, EVERYBODY, before you miss it -- the old "lady" grump is grinnning! Why do you folks do that, anyway? Sure does hurt my cheeks.) Anyway... May I give the perspective of someone who has been here since there were (How many?) maybe a dozen or fewer of us ( back when it was possible for us to all know each other's nuances), and has seen the list change over the years? A large number of the communication problems happen because the sheer size of the list makes it easy for someone to take offence at practically anything, and if that person spouts off publically then another will find that response tacky and behave just as poorly. The sheer numbers do it. They also lead to misunderstandings, and to rumors. Bad, bad, bad! No, no, no! Look, with so many of us here we just have to literally GO OUT OF OUR WAY to be considerate. Sometimes that means holding a post for a day or two till the wording is not so abrupt and one is not so firey. How do I know that works? Heck, I do it myself. Sometimes ( No percentages given.) I just have to. If you can't reply in a way which you figure is finally civil do it PRIVATELY! One rule of thumb is that if someone wrote to you that way and it hurt you then perhaps (G) you REALLY don't want to communicate in that fashion in a public forum. Have I always managed to write civilly or clearly? Nope. In fact, several people here can tell you that rather strongly and pointedly. Have I always managed to read clearly? Again, nope, and ditto the references. Nor have I always been read clearly (and I won't say by whom because that is water under the bridge). No one can do it all the time. What is important is that we TRY a damn sight HARDER to be considerate and to re-read posts which upset us, and carefully tackle our replies because of the volume of participants. Sometimes something will just completely upset me and I KNOW I can't tackle it reasonably. What helps me then is to remember that there are A LOT of people here and MANY of them are very knowledgeable (Hey, those of you who know more than I -- stop smirking!) so I don't have to be my too-commonly pontificating font of questionable or otherwise wisdom because one of you will probably handle that one a dang sight better than I EVER could. Guess what, YOU don't have to always jump in, either. If something is too upsetting, or one of the other knowledgeable folks is likely to tackle it you can be a computer chair potato for this one. (You'd be surprised how relaxing it is to realize that, and how much freedom is attached.) When I really blow it Bill deletes it and I get to escape without egg on my face or needing dental work -- not a bad deal at all. He's previously exerted incredible manly athletic prowess pulling my foot from my mouth at times, and deflecting eggs aimed at my face. I tell ya, the guy's Hercules in Alpha-Geek format, he really is! So if you don't want to avoid conflict with verbal limberness just recall how flexible you will have to be for an oral-ped extraction without any help, and try-try-again! Okay, off the podium and on to stuff I'm familiar with: DO remember to NOT give lysodren with water and to protect it from saliva with Nutrical or an oil. Oh, Steve had a REALLY smart idea today (Okay, he has great ones all the time, but you might like this one.). For the last two days Jumpstart has been digging the litter pots like crazy though he had not before. Well, given how fast his claws are growing (We just trimmed them a week ago.) Steve wondered if they were uncomfortable and digging may sometimes be a response to wear them down, so we cut them again (and, boy, had they grown). Guess what? HE STOPPED DIGGING!!!!! _________________________________________________________ | Forgiveness coupon. Use of this coupon dispels ALL | | previous disagreements among FML members. | | Try, Try Again. | | Clean Slate Club is NOT associated with the Clean | | Plate Club. | _________________________________________________________ Sukie [Posted in FML issue 1866]