FML: I have never written to this newsletter before. We have only had access to it for about six monthes. I have been wanting to write for the past two weeks... We have three ferrets. Romeo and Farrah are about 5 years 8 monthes old. Then Maggie is about 4 yrs. old. I inherited them because my daughter and her boyfriend bought them and I deeply resented it! I am terrified of mice and I knew nothing about ferrets and to be honest I was afraid of these rodent looking babies. (This was Romeo and actually Jules, a different ferret.) After about a month Jules met a horrible death when my daughter, Bree and her boyfriend Shane moved the sofa, not realizing Jules was asleep under it! Well I cried and cried and thought Romeo was so lonesome, My husband and myself and the kids went to Bartlesville another town and bought Farrah. As you can see I was becoming "A Ferret Person". The reason I knew nothing about ferrets was they were illegal in Tulsa, Oklahoma where we live. A year later the kids mentioned buying another one and I said no... When I came home from work one day there was a knock on the door and it was my daughter and she said close your eyes, reluctantly I did and Shane appeared with a box with Maggie in it. Since feeding them was falling on my shoulders I thought this is terrible! Then I held little Maggie who barely filled the palm of my hand. Now Maggie's care really relied on me, sure the kids played with her but mother took care of her. Bree and Shane broke up a year later, still are friends and Shane still comes by to visit the little guys. But the ferrets are mine. Maggie comes to me when I call her name and sleeps with me if I fall asleep on the sofa. I look forward to coming home from work and watching them play. I enjoy buying them toys and see who takes possession of the latest toy. They all have their own little stash. Romeo tends to take the stuffed cat toys. Maggie likes the little rubber figures, her favorite is a tiny mouse man about an inch and a half high dressed in a blue suit, she is constantly moving him around the house. Farrah likes baby pacifiers. It use to be quite common to be sitting in the living room and see Farrah running through with a baby pacifier in her mouth! One thing I should explain is we started with a small cage then bought a bigger cage then a realllly big cage, then I just did not have the heart to keep them in the cage. So I left the door open. Anyone that comes over knows to be careful where they step or to make sure a ferret does not leave with them. You could say my house is one big ferret cage. I am rambling on, my problem is Farrah is dying. The latter part of January She had a bump on her head. My daughter took her to our home vet and he thought possibly could have had a blow to the head and the bump would go down with time. On the weekend we noticed that she wasn't able to use her right leg. My husband thought it might be broken, so we called my home vet and the answering machine referred us to an after hours clinic. I called and they do not see ferrets but recommended two in Tulsa that see ferrets. We took her to the 1st Vet that returned our beep. But in the mean time the 2nd said he saw alot of ferrets. That night the 1st vet felt of her and by then @ 10pm Farrah seemed to using her leg better. So we went home without any answers. A few days later the bump was worse so I called the 2nd Vet and took her in. He decided that it would be best to remove the tumor the next day Feb. 6th. That was a Thursday and the next week he called and said the biopsy came back from the OSU lab malignant, that it was lymphosarcoma. The picture he painted from chemotherapy was bleak so we decided to go with prednisone. When I finally switched from the syrup which I could not get her to take, it was strawberry flavored and she has always hated fruit, to a quarter of a pill. She got better and mingled with the others and played sometimes. It was wonderful. But then the past 3 weeks the bump has grown back. The past two weeks have been very hard on her. I took her to my home vet about 2-1/2 wks ago, because I thought the tumor might be obstructing her nasal passage her breathing was becoming labored. He x-rayed her and found the cancer had spread and was in her lungs. My problem is when do you know if having your baby euthanized is humane or cowardly on your part? People have told me that I would know. I do not know what to do. My husband and I feel like it would be better for her to die at home amongst familiar surroundings. But she is suffering so, I think, She is only eating duck soup now. I fixed the 1st for her last Monday. She loves it. But it is so sad because it is like either she eats or she breathes. We called the 2nd vet that is familiar with ferrets and plan to take her in tomorrow, I am afraid he will tell us to put her to sleep. We know the end is near for her. I am surprised to find her alive in the mornings. If any one has gone thru this I would appreciate any opinions or experiences you might have had... The Rainbow Bridge Concept is quite comforting to me at this point. Sorry this is so long, I wish we could all see the responses to questions on the FML. Thank you in advance Cherrie and John [Posted in FML issue 1879]