** OFFICIAL F.L.O. TRANSCRIPT -- F.L.O. SECRET DOUBLE DOOKER MISSION ** ** PARTICIPATING OPERATIVES -- CAPTAIN CASEY, MISSION COMMANDER -- SARGEANT SARGE, MISSION SPECIALIST ** INTENDED TARGET -- DAD, SILLY NEUTRAL HUMAN --- BEGIN TRANSCRIPT --- CASEY: Sarge, do you read me? Come in Specialist Sarge. Is your super secret stuff headset working properly? SARGE: Casey? Where are you at? I can hear you, but I can't see you. CASEY: That's because I'm in the Subterranian Under the Dresser Stronghold (S.U.D.S) you dolt! Remember the mission?? You're wearing a super secret stuff headset! SARGE: Umm. Oh! Yeah. heh heh dook. Alpha! Bravo! Come in Enterprise! Beam me up Scotty! hee hee hee hee dook. CASEY: Shut up! (I can't believe he's my litter mate .... sigh) Commence Phase One !! Long live the F.L.O.! SARGE: Aye! Aye! Cap'n! huh huh! The F.L.O. is cool. CASEY: Sargeant Sarge... report. What do you see? SARGE: Daddy's laying on the couch readin' a book! CASEY: Perfect! You know what to do! SARGE: Yep! Hee hee. dumm dee dee (Transcriber's note: Sarge is strolling casually toward an "unlitterboxed" corner of the room) Sniff sniff! Fire ONE! Ferret mine away!! SILLY HUMAN (picked up over Sarge's receiver): SARGE! NO! Rrrrgghh! Bad boy! SARGE: YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! (plop) hee hee hee. Fire TWO! SILLY HUMAN: Come here you. (sound of struggle being picked up! Sarge whines in the background. Now crunchy sound can be heard) CASEY: Sargeant Sarge, report please. What's going on? SARGE: He dropped me in the litter box to finish my business.. CASEY: Oh, I'll wait. SILLY HUMAN: Good boy! Good boy! SARGE: Why, you're welcome . . . . NOW, WHERE'S MY PAYMENT???? SARGE: (chomp chomp chomp, eatin' a raisin sounds picked up. A few moments of silence can be heard) SILLY HUMAN: Good boy! SARGE: Ahhhh!! That's great. Yeah.... A little higher and to the left please. Oh Yeah...... CASEY: SARGE!! What in St. Raisins name are you doin'???? SARGE: Gettin' a tummy rub. hee hee hee hee dook. CASEY: AAAA!! YOU IDIOT! You're comprimising the mission you fool! SARGE: I'm gettin' a tummy rub and yooouuuu arrrnnnn'tt! hee hee. What?? Hey, don't stop now! aaaaaaaaaaawww. CASEY: Collaborator....... SARGE: Psssttt. He went to get paper towel to clean up the ferret mines! The target is in sight! CASEY: Phase 2!! Phase 2!! The diversion worked after all! SARGE: I'm on it! hee hee. sniff sniff *chomp* (dragging noises) I've got the goods! I'm in the "under the couch H-I-D-E-Y- -H-O-L-E"! CASEY: Mission is a success! Good job Mission Specialist Sarge! I'll be right down! Another F.L.O. victory! (scamper scamper scamper) SARGE: Mmmmm...MMMMMM!! *chomp chomp slurp lick lick chomp* CASEY: Oh! Yeah!!! It's the MOTHER LODE!!! YESSS!! Fuzzy High Five! *slap* *chomp chomp slurp chomp lick chomp* MMMmmmm!! SILLY HUMAN: (picked up over Captain Casey's receiver) Hey!! Where'd my French Fries go?????? -- END MISSION TRANSCRIPT -- MISSION TIME: 00:04:23 -- MISSION RESULT: BRILLIANT VICTORY FOR THE SPARE BEDROOM CORPS. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-= =- \_/---- Matt Romoser (aka "Romo") -= -= | * | [log in to unmask] ; http://www.cris.com/~Romoser =- =- | | Ft. Wayne, Indiana -= -= | | =- =- / / "The most important thing in acting is honesty. -= -= /__--/ Once you've learned to fake that, you're in." =- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=SAMUEL GOLDWYN=-=-=- [Posted in FML issue 1846]