It seems that there is an awful lot of pain out there lately. Maybe it is just me, I don't know. I do know that when one is in pain one tends to see it more in life. I am one of those such individuals. Most of you may not know me. I have been on this list for almost 2 years but rarely post because of my location, Los Angeles. But I have a small story that I really need to share with you all. And for you Pam, I have read your posts through the years and always found them informative. And if you did not know, you sent us to where we needed to go. I admire that. I just had to tell you that I have always felt close to you even though we hardly ever speak. I feel for your sick ones and their eventual passing. My prayers for them. My story is a bit long. We moved here about 8 months ago. I have three kids, one is five and a half, one 9 months, and one three and a half. All had regular visits to the vet, all their shots, all were healthy. Until about four weeks ago. Having taken care of them so long and having a few classes in ferret bio I thought I was doing okay. Elwood, my middle child, gained some wieght about 3 months ago. He had no other symptoms that we could find. We decided that they needed more excersize, so that is what we did. He toned down to his regular size in about a two weeks. Then three weeks ago he started gaining again. We did not think to much of it since he did not have any other symptoms at the time. We just kept an eye on him and let him out more than ever. Most days he was out almost all day, with us of course. Until something else started to happen. He began to lay under the couch, all the time. I started to notice that when we let him out, he would play for a few minutes and then went under the couch to sleep the rest of his playtime away. I tried to engage him in play with toys and fun to no avail. The turning point was when I pulled him out from under there one day and had to shake him awake, literally. And, I found a lump in his tummy that was not there the week before, I swear. I called the vet that night. Now being out here where fuzzies are illegal and new to the area I was very scared, still am kinda. I called one place and they did not care for them but they gave me the number of an after hours that did. Well, I called as soon as they were open and lucked out. The doc on duty was a small animal specialist. He gave us some things to do to get his blood glucose up until he could be seen at the regular hours. I would have gone then but just to see the doctor would have been $75 and I am out of work just now. Damn. Anyway, he said he was thinking insulinoma. So, get the sugar up and get him in asap. Which I did. After $200, we decided surgery was his only hope, price tag $800. The tumor was very large but so was the bill. I took a night to think about it and try to find the money, somehow, anywhere. The next day my tax return came in the mail, equal to half the bill. (Maybe there is a God) I called to schedual, wait of two days. I did not think that was too bad, he was doing okay with all the stuff we were giving him. So, I take him in and drop him off. To cut to the end, the office calls me about the time of his surgery. Another doctor called to tell me that my doctor could finish the surgery, but he did not really see the point. The cancer was everywhere, on all his organ, his heart, and in his lymth system. She was calling to see if we wanted to just let him go right then. She called on my cell phone while I was driving down the freeway. So LA, huh? <sigh> Anyway, I told them to let him go. I did not see the point of waking him up and subjecting him to the pain of the surgery for no other reason than my selfishness. But I miss him so much sometimes I wish I had. But what can you do? It is done. I cannot bring him back. From the time I called the vet to the time he was gone was 6 days. 6 days, that's it. I went from having my favorite on my lap and seemingly fine to gone forever in 6 days. I had a talk with the vet a day or so later. He said he had never seen anything like that in his life. He said it was everywhere, nothing he could do. I believe him. We talked about the tumor and he said that they took another x-ray just to check the size of the thing on surgery day. It had grown by 1 centimeter in 2 1/2 days. I am not kidding, that is what he said. He also said that it is very possible he was perfectly healthy up until 2 or 3 months ago. Anyway, I guess I am telling you all this because I think it is very important for all of us to have good vets that we trust helping us with our fuzzies. Also, save some money for those surgeries! I know I will be. Time is so precious, make the most of it while you can. Peace, -MsPea ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This space dedicated in loving memory of Elwood. Born to play, always ready with love and kisses. My dearest friend, you will be missed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Posted in FML issue 1766]