Mr. Bear, a eulogy You came into my life on 1/3/90, and left on November fourth, a few days ago. You and sister Silky, who's doing fine health wise, gave much joy to our house. My only regret was listening over 3 years ago to the Nutro company rep when she said you needed to eat their Max kitten food instead of the cat recipe. When the owner of the store later heard that you got an enlarged spleen & Silky got a hardened kidney after only a couple of months on the stuff, he commented that the rep got a cut of the higher cost of the product. He theorized that the ethoxyquin listed as a preservative was higher in the kitten formula and just overloaded your poor systems. I heard other horror stories from other people with even different animals having many problems. It is supposed to be limited to only 2 spices for use in humans, it's too toxic to be allowed in higher dose uses. The only people defending it's use seem to get $$ from it, or don't know many companies successfully use vit.'s E & C instead. We were never able to reverse the damage it caused. Last year you became quite listless and refused kisses. Having just found out about colloidal silver, I figured it was worth a try. I was happy to see your spleen reduce to half size, & you played & gave kisses again.:) Last summer, early July, you got ascites of the abdomen, fluid building up like filling a balloon. A good vet here did a lot of tests & said there were nodules on your spleen now, & the fluid seemed to be from the lymph system. He said taking out the spleen might not help, and you'd have only 2/3rd chance of living thru the operation. He said that was good odds in Vegas, but lousy for an operation. I began the trip to Boulder to see Dr. Dave who helped Timmy beat the "terminal lymphoma". Stopping in the Springs to see a highly recommended vet, he said to "re-evaluate you later, & consider euthanasia". I was not impressed. Dr. Dave gave some herbs for the ascites that didn't seem any better than the Lympho Clear by Enzaymatic Therapy co. that I weaned you over to from the lasix. By Sept. you were needing force feeding & stopped eating on your own. It didn't look good. You had a couple of hypoglycemic crashes when your blood sugar went so low you just layed there & drooled. My friend Susanne here at 2am helped me recognize what was happening, & 2cc of clover honey in your mouth brought you up to be able to eat some recipe & get back on track. I then realized you needed hand feeding at least 3x/day. Other remedies were tried with no noticeable helpful results. Making a long story shorter, we gave you human gamma gobulin, .02cc/day, & in 3-4 days you were eating out of a cup & giving kisses:) This was in Sept., & it was starting to snow, so we started the trip back to warm country here. Stopping in Denver, we tried to pick up a ferret that needed a home with fewer than the 60 animals he was living with. He was being picked on by some of the females there, so spent a lot of time in his cage, alone. Your sister tried picking on him as did Sadi, but he seemed to defend himself over here. Tina, who was showing adrenal signs, did not fight with him, but it's thought that she was so stressed out that she pooped mint green jelly! I was told it seemed bacterial, not the ece, & caused from stress. Well. it spread to everyone soon, and Sachi to this day doesn't have normal poop, but more like nutri-cal with a green tinge. Some people are saying the ece mutated & there's a 2 week variety & that's what it was. The new ferret, Dave, was away when his house got the ece, & his mom swears that it was gone as she had other people visit & not catch it. I don't know, but I think maybe he was so healthy he carried something though he showed no signs of illness, & still doesn't. He wound up with another friend who had an older ferret loose it's mate not long ago. You were finally stable enough to complete the trip to warm land here, but on Sunday, 11/3, you just seemed to be breathing shallow & faster. You had trouble the last few days even walking to the paper towels that became your litter pan, since it was too much work to climb into the regular one. I sensed it was becoming work to stay here, something more than just needing more sleep. I had the strong sense that your mom may be waiting for you on the other side, and told you so. I gave you permission to leave if it was becoming too much work for you to stay here. I told you how much I & the rest of your family loved you, and wished you only happiness. I kissed you goodnight and placed you back in your ski cap in the little tent under the table, on it's soft padded floor that had the heating pad set on very low, but warm enough to help you keep warm with less work for your little body. I heard not a sound the night thru, but the next day found that you had left us. Living in the motor home & not having a yard to place you in, I found Susanne offering to let me place you with her many departed ferrets and other friends in her back yard. I cleaned you up, placed you with your favorite bunny that you used to put your head on to rest while your other ferret family played. I placed you both in the ski hat that gave you so much comfort in your last days, and Susanne's husband Ken helped to place you where it will never snow, and is under the shade of a big tree. There is a nice view of green grass & flowers, & your physical form has the company of many other departed friends of hers. I had to stop here & cry for awhile, the first I've done since too many "things" had to be done these last days since your leaving. I understand you're happy with your mom & friends, not in any pain any more, but we who are left here feel the pain of missing you. We wish you well until the day we leave this world & can join you in the land that is without pain. Please say hi to Squeaky, Slinky, Nermal & Sam, give them our best & tell them we miss them too. Sincerely & with most Love, Gary & the gang of fur -> Thru joining, their grief has been transmuted to joy, loneliness to celebration... ..Data, in "The Tin Man" episode, STNG. [Posted in FML issue 1759]