Hi, this is Elizabeth, Mo' Bob's daughter. I wanted to thank all of you who wrote to me, saying how much I liked my letter. Thank you. I got 27 letters, which my dad said was really hard to print out without reading. One of the people asked me to marry him because he thought it would be the only way he could get a word in edgewise from dad. Dad almost had a stroke this week, and it was my fault. Not really, but saying that makes him feel better. I was at his house to print out some photoshop things I drew and he has the color printer. He says he uses it for scientific applications, but I think he just likes printing out pictures of bones. From the pictures on the walls, I think his favorite color is red. Well, he has all these icons on his desktop and they accidentally all got clicked when I threw away my drawing. And I flushed them. I noticed something was wrong when the counter said I was throwing away 120 MB, and called him in. His eyes got real big and his mouth opened and no sound came out. He almost died trying to get to the cancel button. Anyway, I caused his address book and a few other files to leave the planet, so he was a little upset. I thought he would get real mad, but he just hugged me asnd said the ferrets have done worse. And he's right! (Someone should ask him about the ferret that pooped in his CD player. He took it apart to clean it, and hasn't been able to get it back together right. He says he is contemplating the problem, and should have the solution any time now. Alot of you wrote to ask me to tell another story about dad, so here it is. This happened a couple of months ago when dad bought two more file cabinits for all his papers. He was loading them with his stuff and I was helping him because he kept whining about this cut on his hand making it hard to pick stuff up with. I told him he should have had it stitched and to be quiet, but thought helping him would make it easier to go the the Blue Note and listen to music with my friend Todd. Dad doesn't like Todd. He says Todd is too cute for his own good, and really hates it when Todd calls him Mr. Church. When he calls, dad yells out "Its Todd the Bod!" We were loading papers into the bottoms of the file cabinets first because dad thought the cabinets would fall over from the weight if we started at the top. To tell the truth, I think someday his whole floor is going to break through and we will find him crushed in the basement under his disseration. He says he doesn't care because it is killing him anyway. We filled up the bottom three drawers and dad went to change the music. Dad listens to really cool music, nad plugged in a Metallica cd. He says life is easier when you rock, and if you can't rock, then laugh. He has all these Monty Python, Tom Lehrer, Allen Sherman, Spike Jones and Dr. Demento CDs. He FORCES me to listen to them! Its ok, because I am strong! He even has a poster of Julie Brown on his wall and swears her song "I love them big and stupid" is about him. No way, he's not that tall. While dad was gone, I snuck some of his ferrets into the top drawer of the file cabinet. He came back over and opened the drawer, then leaned over to pick up some files. Moose, who loves to jump, came out of the drawer and jumped on dad's shoulder. Dad must have thought he was a spider, because he spin around and started brushing him off like mad. Moose went under dads hair, and then dad really started to go crazy, saying something like "geeeeahhhh" and trying to get the giant spider off his back. He finally got Moose out of his hair and gave him a look like you would give a spoonful of rotten egg. He couldn't figure out how Moose got into the file cabinet and kept muttering at it all day. He never could figure it out! If any of you really want to get dad, he hates spiders. Not the kinds he can see. He once had a pet black widow and always picks up spiders when we are in the woods. But he really hates the spiders he can't see. He gets the willies when walking into webs. Its so funny because dad is not afraid of anything else (I saw him kiss a rattlesnake once. I also saw him put a bunch of scorpions on his arm when he was teaching inner-city kids about the woods. He volunteers time every summer and takes kids from east LA up in the high Sierras). One day Stella got into the basement and came out covered in cobwebs. Dad picked her up, and this tiny dead bug dropped off Stella's back and swung on a cobweb and landed on dads arm. Dad works out and also has a black belt and just about broke his own arm trying to kill the "spider." Stella freaked and went down his shirt. Imagine a longhaired guy spinning in circles, whacking his arm, and trying to get a ferret out from inside is t-shirt all at the same time! He had this huge bruise on his arm for a week! Now whenever he acts macho, I just ask him if he has karate-chopped any spiders lately. Dad said I could write but it had to be about ferrets. Was this enough about ferrets, B.I.G? Dad said B.I.G. stood for Bill Gruber, but wouldn't tell me your middle name because he said you were in the witness protection program and nazis from California would come after you. Then he said it was Igor. Then he admitted he didn't know and said he would give the name to one of Crystal's kits if I could find out, but I didn't have much of a chance because everyone has tried and you wouldn't tell. I bet its a romantic German name. Elizabeth "EC" [Posted in FML issue 1758]