And now, the Top Ten ways to tell, your ferrets have driven you completely insane..... 10. You try to start a city-wide boycott against your local hardware store because they don't carry clear dryer hose. 9. You become one of those people who irritate children by handing out raisins at halloween. 8. You giggle hysterically every time you read the phrase, " Hey, that's not a UPC!" 7. Your next home improvement project is a sixty level cage. 6. You vote for Clinton because he's more "weasely-lookin'." 5. You vote for Dole because they are juicier and less expensive than Sun-Maid. 4. You buy a lottery ticket and dreamily contemplate how much ferretone you could buy with 6.8 million dollars. 3. You spend hours trying to carve a ferret face into your jack-o-lantern. 2. When your best friend tells you her boyfriend problems,you suggest the "ferretone on the belly" trick. And the number one way to tell your ferrets have driven you completely insane: 1. Your major? FERRET MATH! [Posted in FML issue 1735]