Hi everyone! Well, I've been out of touch with FML lately due to a death in my ferret family. It's been over two months and it's still hard to talk about it but I've decided it's time to tell my story so I can feel a little better! I have four ferrets, (or should I say I had), Nanook my oldest male sable ferret passed away July 15th. On saturday late afternoon I noticed Nanook was vomitting and very lethargic. I watched him for a few hour and after no noticable change, I called one of the vets I use (a specialist in NH). He said to try a few things and to call in the AM if there was no change. I stay up the entire night with Nanook forcing fluids and giving Pepto (as perscribbbed by the vet) and holding him while he in pain and vomiting. At 5 in the morning there was no change (and if anything he was worse) so I called the vet in NH and he recommended to go to my local vet and get eveluate for small bowel obstruction. Well, to make matters worse I couldn't get a hold of my local vet and I was in a panic, so I decided to drive to NH (three hours away) because the vet was willing to come in. I drove three hours without any sleep and worried sick he was going to die. When we got there, Nanooks body temperature was 4 degrees below normal, and he was very dehydrated, even despite the fact I was forcing fluids every 1/2 hour. They did a barrium swallow x-ray test and found an obstruction. And they did surgery twenty minutes later. The Vet tolds us to go home because he would be there at least 3-4 days post-op. I drove home crying because I just wanted to hold him and be there for him when he woke up. The vet call when a got home and said the surgery went terrific and that they found a small black piece of rubber, smaller that a pencil eraser in his spincter between his stomck and small intestines. The worst was over he said and we will just wait it out.I was relieved. Monday I called from work at 1:00 to see how he was. The vet said he was eatting, urinating and playing in the cage and all was well. I was so happy and was making plans of when I could pick him up. I left work at 5:00, felling so happy and I got home and there was a message on the machine saying to call the vets immediatly because Nanook took a turn for the worst. I knew by the tone in the vets voice that he was going to died. I called and Nannok had started having troubles breathing and they took a chest x-ray and found his lungs filled with fluid. They tried everything and even tried to intubate him. He died! They said he went quickly and hopfully without pain. His died from complication post-op, either a syndrome called DIC or septic shock and he said he could preform an autopsy to find out exactly why but his body had been through so much I couldn't justify it. I wanted him to rest in peace. I know the vet did his best and he said nothing could have stopped it and even if we could have gotten him in early (he was only sick for 24 hours) he would still have died. I cried my eyes out for two days straight, I couldn't sleep, eat and I blamed myself for everything!! I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die!!! I didn't even get to kiss him goodbye or tell him that I loved him and when the vet carried him away in his carrier to do surgery, Nanook looked at me with this sad look on his face, as if to say goodbye. I just wish I would have known and I could have kissed him goodbye one last time. I miss him and I hope he is playing, having fun and eatting all the raisins he wants in heaven. He was the best guy and I still miss him every day and still cry when I think of him!!! I still blame myself once in a while when I get down in the dumps and I miss him, even though I know deep down inside it wasn't my fault. I searched the enetir house, trying to fine where he got the black rubber piece (vet gave me the piece he found). No luck! I will never know to this day where it was from. I had him creamated and I got an urn with his name printed on it. I loved him with all my heart and he is dearly missed. It took the other three ferrets two weeks to start acting normal again. I hope he knows how much I love him and I don't feel like I'm ever going to get over this deep pain. Writting this letter is bringing all the memories back. I'm so sorry Nanook!!!! Well , there was one good thing that came out of this tragity. My friend suggested a month after Nanook died that I should think of adopting a ferret from a shelter and give it a good home that it never had before, in Nannoks' honor. She suggest a shelter in NH that always had ferrets. It took me awhile but I decided to do it. I went down and adopted a pair (the owner of the shelter didn't want to separate them) of male ferret. These poor little guys were left at the door step of a humane society after hours in a small box. They are the best, a little skinny and under fed but I will take care of that!!!!! They will have meat on their bones in no time. They seem very happy, healthy and eatting like little pigs!!!! Their names are Bailey and Zack. Nanook lost his life but because of that he gave new lives to two little fuzzies that never had that privilage of living in a warm and loving environment. For that I thank Nanook and I love him with all my heart. I hope one day I can think of Nanook and remember the good times without crying but for now I will always be sad. Thank you for listening to my story! In a way it lifted a load of my chest! And to all the other stories I've read in the past about the death of a beloved ferret, I too know pain. I hope all the dearly departed ferrets in heaven are as happy as they can be and know how much they will be missed!!!! -Niki, Sammy, Harley, CJ, Bailey and Zack- [Posted in FML issue 1680]