Announcing an in-depth approach to psychoanalyzing your fuzzies!!! Now you can understand the never-before-known phenomenon known as ferret logic! Call 1-800-PSYCHOFERRET AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Our special hands-on training course will explain how to deal with your ferret(s): 1. Digging to China in the carpet 2. Pooping everywhere but in the litterbox 3. Sleeping for 12 hours at a time 4. Waking up anywhere from 1 to 5 a.m. and wanting to play with the humans 5. Stealing all your stuff and then looking at you and saying "Who said?" when you try to take it back 6. Not listening to your commands (that's dog-stuff) 7. Not being able to go outside and come back (that's cat-stuff) 8. Not staying in one place (that's fish-stuff) 9. Digging to China in the plants 10. Turning the answering machine off and on, and erasing important messages 11. Wrestling on your head when you are sleeping 12. Not letting you leave the front door in the morning 13. Trying to stow-away in your purse, bookbag, briefcase, or backpack in the morning 14. Licking the water off of your legs when you get out of the shower 15. Making loud crashes in the middle of the night in another part of the house 16. Making sure that when guests come over they act like little angels ("see my halo?") 17. Making sure that when the guests leave they become ferrets again (i.e. doing everything in the name of all that is bad to do) 18. Climbing up onto any piece of furniture that can be climbed up onto 19. Trying to sneak into the fridge, closets, dishwasher, cupboards, drawers, etc. when you aren't looking (always check before closing anything!) 20. Trying to hang from the chandeliers (well, if they could they would) SO CALL TODAY AND LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW LITTLE CONTROL YOU REALLY DO HAVE OVER YOUR FERRETS!!! [Posted in FML issue 1698]