A few disclaimers right out of the gate: 1. This is NOT my original idea. (Actually, I'd claim it if I thought I could get away with it, but I' know I'd get caught by the originator of the idea eventually) 2. Guys, the first part of this project falls into the realm of a woman's domain. Get your wife, girlfriend, SO, extremely good friend and ferret fancier of the female persuasion to handle it for you. That having been said: This week my parents hooked up the trailer and took a mini-vacation on the Jersey shore. At the campground, my mother noticed their neighbor setting up a large three storey cage. A little while later, she noticed what looked like a sports bra hanging from the top of the cage and wiggling (Guys for those of you who don't know -- and I didn't, the average sports doesn't have cups in them). Curious, my mother went over and looked into the cage/wiggling bra. Two ferret heads poked out of the unusual hammock. The owner, an older woman (which really means something since "older woman" was part of my mother's description!), introduced the ferrets and explained the origin of the unusual hammock. Bothered by the $12-$20 and up prices for hammocks, she went to a local K-Mart and bought some of the largest sports bras that had on sale, took them home and sewed the bottom closed. She cheerfully pointed out that the bra has natural "hangers" with the shoulder straps and she can hang the new ferret hammock from a wooden pole fitted across the cage between the bars like a bird's perch. According to my mother and the older woman, sports bras come in a variety of colors and soft fabrics. No, I do not know that for a fact, I am just passing along the information I was given. Being a single curmudgeon, it is unlikely that I will try this remarkable and unusual hammock (that's why I told the guys they would need female assistance -- could you imagine the stories the CA F&G would start if male ferret owners ran right out and started buying up sports bras? I can see their headlines now "Ferrets Cause Men to Crossdress!"). Of course, I do have a couple of wonderful friends of the right gender who might be cajoled into making the purchases for me. Hope this posting doesn't get bounced for some esoteric reason. Good luck to anyone who decides to try out the newest and most novel ferret sleep sack. Scott, Lovejoy -- "This could be interesting!" Miss Marple -- "I thought women were supposed to WEAR this thing!" Marlow -- "I've died and gone to heaven!" Ginger -- "Be quiet and don't ask questions. Remember, dignity, pride and decorum." Dix -- "Can we all fit in that thing?" Sam -- "Eat your heart out Hugh Hefner!" Campion -- "Who's Hugh Hefner?" Mrs Tiggywinkle -- "Leave me alone. Proper hedgehogs do not sleep in those things!" Remember the words of the greatest American opossum philosopher -- "We have met the enemy, and he is us!" [Posted in FML issue 1651]