Hi, My name's Kirby an' dis is my first time typin' on da pooter to yoo guys! I wanna tellya 'bout my brudda, Bandit. He's a sick beezer-fuzzie right now cuz he's gotta green poopy sickness or sumthin' like dat. Daddy sez he typed to sumone named Dayna hoo takes care of sick ferret-dudes and tells hoomans howta feed sick beezers like Bandit. Bandit just sleeps alot an' don't eat no kitty food like he's suppose ta, so Daddy, Maw, and Krissy (the big little girl) has ta forrest-feed him or sumthin' like dat. Dey opens his teef and poor what he calls yukky-stuff intaw his mouf. Dey tried to givem' sticky stuff called hunny or sumtin' but he don't like it none. I luv it! It's just as good as dat dried piney-apple dat we eat when we run 'round da house. I feel bad for Bandy cuz he's my only brudda an' my best buddie in da hole big wide world. His ribs is pokin' out cuz he's skinny an' he can't get out of his cage cuz he's too week an' he falls over. Any hoomans hoo can help Daddy make Bandit feel betta an' eat sum' dry food,can send sum' pooter mail on sum' pooter-spider-web-thingy like Dayna did. Oh, an' thank ya much Dayna! Dookie from Bandit an' me an' Daddy an' Maw an' Krissy an' all de udder animoos frum here in Maine (oh yeah, an' da big Tommy guy, too!He's my hooman brudda.) Ayuh (dat's a Maine word hoomans use here; wierd huh?). 'Kay, gotta get off da pooter now cuz Maw's comin',oh an' Tater an' Odie, guess we can't cum to da weddin' unless we get ridda da green poops! Bye Bye! Dooks, KIRBY("I wasn't dooin' nufin, Maw") (Bandit:"QUIT FEEDIN' ME DAT YUKKY STUFF, WOODYA? YER MAKIN' ME MAD, Y'HEAR?!?!?!?") [Posted in FML issue 1625]