Hi dere, dis' is you-know-who's, and we gots a request from dat nice man Bill Gwuber yesterday: "There are other important things to talk about too... you know wedding plans and such...." So it's on wit' da show!!! We gots new mail too: ****************(1.)***************** "Du brydes mades hear! Sawwe we behind us in are wamblins. Buzyin tying on tacky coword dwesses (Youz brydes relly needz too get's in youz I's check by a optomrist!) Deerest gullfiends (sincere know it all look), wez tooly beweese in long engaugmints, but beezen fewwets as we isz, wez muss yurry up dis hear weoding. Owls Mom sazs wez beezzin awound for bout 10 moar years, ifin wez looky. Gets a mooving on dose boyz! Has youz eyzbull du ringlets or per-poop agreemint yet? Fuzzie bonding from Chipper & Gina." ***************(2.)********************** "Hi friends: This is Bandit Streit. Mandy and Amber have written to you and I want to get in on the fun. I'm a good boy and I love everybody. When Amber bites me, I feel very sad. I hide and won't eat much because it depresses me so. My mom gives me extra hugs and kisses, and tells me I'm her favorite. Then I feel better. Mom says I should bite back, but that wouldn't be nice. I'm a sweet guy who wouldn't hurt anyone. At the wedding reception, you should have fun things to do. My humans gave us ferrets a big pot of dirt to dig in. (Don't the humans understand it's more fun to dig when there is a plant in the pot?) Will the reception hall have lots of plants to dig in? I sure hope so! Amber was a bad girl. A few Sundays ago, mom was sitting on the sofa in her Pinky and the Brain nightshirt, drinking coffee and watching TV. Amber decided to see just what it is the gynecologist inspects. She was almost at her goal before momma could react. Coffee got spilt on the sofa and mom. And Amber just laughed. I think Amber is crazy and should be locked-up. She and the coons will make trouble at the wedding! My favorite toy is a rope-type thing with a jingle-bell. For my birthday Feb 11, (I'm 1 year old now) we were in a pet store and mom let me choose my own jingle-bell toy! If you need a bell-ringer for the ceremony, I'm your ferret. However, I'll probably steal the bells. I have glaucoma. Daddy got me a prescription at a human pharmacy. They think I'm named Bob. Twice a day I get eye drops. Usually I get a treat too, so it isn't so bad. I hate getting a bath. Do we have to bathe before the wedding, or can we come as we are? I am neutered and never smell bad, unless I poof my scent glands when Amber bites me. Mandy is my best friend. Big Bear is also my friend. When the humans are at home, we get out of our cages, although Mandy and I sometimes get locked into the bedroom when Amber is loose. Mom said something about her needing exercise. I think Amber has mind-control over the humans. It has gotton hot here. The house has magic cooling, but I still like to go downstairs where it's cooler. We never used to be able to go down there, but Big Bear outsmarted the humans. He is so big, he can reach were we can't, and climb where no ferret has ever gone before. So the FLO has claimed new territory. Bye Bye" *********************************** Whew! Now dats' a whole bunch of mail, I tink dat we gotta play and wrestle in da big pile first before we writes back... (37 minutes later....) Okay, we's done playin', and now we's gonna replied to da' stuff: 1. Tater & Odie haven't said no'ting 'bout wings yet (fingers cwossed) and we don't knows what a 'per-poop agreemint' is, but it sounds fun! We hopes dat yoour tacky coword dwesses fits weally pwetty like! We still needs to get our dwesses made or sometin'... 2. Bandit, you says "My humans gave us ferrets a big pot of dirt to dig in." Well, dat sounds like so dern much funnies dat I tink we gots to twy dat soon! Da is gettin' on our suitcases about diggin' in da carpet 'cause he's worried 'bout some deposition or someting...Amber and dose dern coons can sure play at the weddin' you know dat dose coons is a blues band in dere daytime jobs...dey play at dose night cwub tingies wit dark sunglasses and gaters and dwums, and harmonycaws and stufffs...Da says dey is real cool or someting when he heres dem late at nights like tree in da mornin' playin' "I'm a soul-man" or sometin' in dat back-yard. You can be surein' to wing dose bells-tings at dat wedding' too...boy Da says dat dis' here wedding is turnin' into a Gwatefully Dead concert nor someting... Anyways, we hopes dat your glawcoma gets betters soon...personally Bandit, we loves our baths wit' our Da, it's lots of fun, but no fewwets or humans, nor coons haves to take baths for weeks 'fore da weddin' if dey don't want too...Ma always says dat we "stink so good" or sometin'... ************************** So's we gots to gets goin', we's gots important stuffs to 'complish today and we haven't nibbled on Ma and Da's toes yet dis' here mornin', so we will say bye-bye to all you nice peoples... Love, Rosie and Maxie ^ ^ ^ ^ (oo) (oo) =v= =v= [Posted in FML issue 1622]