the sign language sign for weird is the same for weird, odd, strange and peculiar... and Boy do they all apply to this afternoons Main Event! My pager goes off..I return the page and a pet store answers...one and a half area codes away.. I tell the answering clerk..'I received a page from there, may I speak to the person who paged please?' the reply..'It was me..are you the exotic lady?' my answer [with a wry smile] 'Thats an interesting way of putting it, but yes, I am an exotic animal and habitat consultant.' 'How may I help you?' the reply..'Oh, Super, Listen, We have a couple of weird kittens somebody just left in a box in our shop and we don't know what to do with them.' my answer..'In what way are they weird?' 'Can you describe them for me, perhaps I can help you identify the breed and then we can discuss the appropriate action you need to take, OK?' answer "OK!.. Our groomer thinks they are something called a munchkin 'cause they have real short legs..like a cat built like a Dashound..But I'm not so sure 'cause they have tiny little ears and real pointed head shapes and are really hyper!' 'Does that sound like one of those Munchy cats to you?' At this point I am trying not to bust out laughing while sending a silent 'Thank You' winging upward, that the Good Old California Ignorance Factor is safely in operation again! 'I ask her what action they have taken at this point?' and am very dismayed to hear the owner has 'Called the Pound to come and get them out of his store.' reply.. 'When are you expecting them to arrive?' and hear back.. 'Not for at least an hour to an hour and a half because they only have one man on duty and he is the other end of the valley from our store.' I am figuring travel time and with consideration that even without a pilots lic. my jeep could maybe fly me there in time.. I decide to play the odds and go for it...so.. my reply..'Well your groomer is partly correct [with a little prayer for forgiveness for telling whoppers to save fuzzys..again!] what you have there is a French version of a munchkin, Its a Pole Cat, thats spelled Poul in French and pronounced 'Puool', a very rare and unusual kitten to find in this country.' 'And needs special care and foods and has to be in a climate controlled environment at all times.' 'I am not surprised you are seeing hyperactivity, I suspect those Kittens were stolen from a French National visiting our country and left in your store when they began acting sick like that.' 'Its too bad the Animal Shelter is involved, they have no idea how to care for them so they will probably die and they won't allow their employee to accept the reward that is doubtless being offered for their return.' the immediate reply.. 'Reward, what reward?' 'You mean the owners might pay a reward to the ones that found their little kittens and got them safely back to them?' my answer..'Most certainly, I would imagine the more prominent French Munchkin internet sites are at this moment humming with the owners appeal and offer for their return, it's fairly customary you know.' answer.. 'Gee, Honest?..We could call the pound back and tell them we found the owners and not to bother to come, right?' "And if you find a reward offer, then we get it, right?' 'And would you pick them up and get them back for us 'cause we can't leave here to go ourselves and the poor people must be worried sick.' reply.. 'I'd be delighted to help such honest and sensitive kids out, Just let me get on the net and find the worried owners and get authorization to pay you the reward and take possesion of the kittens and transport them back to their family.' 'I'll call you right back, after I have the information, ?' reply.. 'You bet!' click. I spend a few minutes getting the refrigerated transport unit ready to go and wash up in a hurry and dash in and call them back.. 'Hi, its me again, Its just as I thought, the family was checking into the Hyatt Regency near the Airport when someone snatched their beloved pets carrier right off the baggage cart and ran away with it.' 'They have been worried sick, knowing how delicate these kittens are.' 'They are so relieved their 'Kiddens' have been recovered and I have the authorizations I need so I will be along as soon as I can get free here.' 'Just put the box in a dark cool dry place away from all other people and no peeking or disturbing them at all till I arrive, they could be in shock already and of course there is no reward if the little dears die before I can get them back home.' reply.. 'No problem, I'll do it right now in fact, see you soon?' my answer.. 'I'm on my way.' 'Oh, and don't forget to cancel that pound pick-up call, they would spoil everything and the poor babies wouldn't have a chance with those people, they just don't know anything about such a rare breed and the exposure to a dog pound would be fatal considering their already shaky condition, I'll count on you to be sure they stay safely with you nice kids until I can get there and get them on their way home, OK?' answer.. 'Count on it.' click.. I hit the jeep at a dead run and flew low for close to 60 miles and made it in just over an hour in 102 degree heat with very bad air pollution and rotten traffic conditions.. the next phase of operation 'BIG FIB' will be covered in another post so I don't exceed the line limit for the fml.. bye..dayna [Combined posts. BIG] arrival.. I parked the jeep, grabbed the carrier out of the back and ran for the store while checking in all directions for the Animal Control truck [they are very bad abut calling their field officers to cancel a call as every one completed is a log entry and the more entered the better the officer looks] as I knew the odds were pretty high it would be there ahead of me or right on my heels. Just outside the door I did an instant stop, smoothed my hair and clothes, took a deep breathe and strolled into the store to the front desk. 'Hello, I am the exotics consultant you contacted about the kittens you recovered, everything is as we discussed , correct?' answer.. 'You bet, just like you told us, nobody has been near them, we locked them in the employees bathroom with the light off and everything.' my reply.. 'Well, aren't you clever, just the correct thing to have done.' 'Well, I have the special refrigerated carrier with me and if you will show me the way I will sedate them both and transfer them to the environment controlled unit and get them out of this polluted air immediately, poor little things, they will need a skilled vet to help them thru this terrible traumatic ordeal.' 'Your skilled handling of this potentially lethal affair will surely guarantee their full recovery.' 'You are to be congratulated, Oh, by the way, how did you come to have my card in the first place?' all this while herding the clerk rapidly to the back of the store and that box, while keeping an eagle eye out for the Pound Officer.. reply... 'You designed and directed construction of a special habitat for a customers Sugar Glider a while back and they left your card with us so we would have an expert to call if anyone wanted information or training on the care and housing of an exotic.' 'You taught them and made the bonding pocket and everything for their little Glider, and they are having so much fun with theirs while their friends are having nothing but trouble with the one they got they wanted to be sure other people got the right person if they get an exotic.' my reply.. 'How very nice of them, they are such charming people and so good with their fur baby once they knew what to do and not to do, a real pleasure to work with them.' [thinking to myself, which ones are they for heavens sake, mention a name will you] at this point she unlocked the door and I slipped through and closed and bolted the door. and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I opened the carrier and popped open the box and there, just as I was sure they would be, were two about 7 week old ferret kits, looking hot and a bit dehydrated and very hungry. I gently put them in the carrier in the cool dim interior with cool water and a dish of TF. and closed and snapped the combination lock closed on the carrier door panel. From this point on it would take a division of crack troops to get that carrier opened much less get those little babies away from me. out I went Big smile plastered on my very worried face.. Carrier in hand I briskly walked to the counter and snapped out a crisp new Fifty and handed it to the clerk while saying..'They appear to be not in too bad shape, but time is of the essence in getting them to a skilled exotic vet., I am sorry the reward wasn't larger, but the kittens are sterile and only pets, if they had been breed stock the reward would have been substantially larger, but this amount is very generous when you consider what it amounts to in French Francs.' 'The family sends their sincere gratitude to you and wants you to know they are impressed with the fast clear headed way you handled this very delicate situation.' 'Well, I must be off, can't lose a minute getting them to the clinic.' and I turned away from a very pleased clerk and bumped smack into the shirt of a very big Animal Control Officer.Did I panic?, did I run? not a chance..I turned white and nearly fainted, but since nobody noticed it doesn't count. 'Well Hello there Officer.' I smiled sickly. I am so glad you arrived before I had gone, I wonder if I could impose on you for a large favor?' [looking upward with my best "Oh, you great big wonderful savior of little animals smile firmly in place] reply.. 'Sure, anything to help out.' my answer.. 'Since you have come all this way in this awful heat and all, I wonder if I could buy you a nice large cold drink and ask you to take a little of your very valuable time to give these nice kids a complete description of your wonderful public service Animal Shelter's full schedule of responsibilities and your extensive training to be able to help so many needy pets?' holding out a five..'And won't you get one for yourself too, dear, so this nice officer won't feel out of place while he tells you all about his invaluable service to pet owners in this area, I am sure he has some wonderful stories to share with you.' 'I must run, now, so nice to have met you officer.' 'Bye, Now.' and gripping the carrier firmly in my badly cramping hand I got out of there as fast as my long legs could carry me without actually breaking into a run.. behind me I heard..'Just for the record Miss, what did your owner call us out here for?' the closing door mercifully cut off the reply.. I streaked for the jeep, put the carrier under the bungie cords in the back and set the land speed record getting out of that parking lot. and this Ferret Felon, with that nice little clerks one of my business cards safely in my purse, laughed and giggled all the long ride home... French Munchkins [Pole Cats] Indeed! The darling boy and girl dark sable kits..Maxie [he's a Big Boy] and Mini [she's a very petite girl] have had their fervac D vaccines and are happily playing with my fuzzy family... and I can't believe I pulled off the Big Fib of the twentieth century and snatched those kits right off deaths door and got away with it.. and two more fuzzys will live to Dook another day...! Bye all...dayna dayna frazier 102046,3162 'resident of the 'Marvellous Menagerie of Mirthful Mayhem' MMOMM!!! [Posted in FML issue 1590]