According to Syndney Omarr, in today's Seattle _Times_, the horoscope for Jessie (b. early July 1993) and Bart (b. 7/16/94) for tomorrow, 5/14/1996, is: Fun filled Tuesday!^1 Individual who sets policy^2 points to you as leader.^3 Celebration in order, one day you won't soon forget.^4 Don't rule out "overseas assignment."^5 Sagittarian plays role.^6 Notes: ^1: "Hey, Jessie, let's trash the house! Hyuck-nyuck-hyuck!" ^2: The Big One, AKA Mommie, AKa provider of food/cleaner of cage/dispenser of rewards, punishments. I.e., me. ^3: They trash house. I come home to enormous, chaotic mess. "Jessie. I know you instigated this!" Back they go into the cage (they were _in_ the cage when I left -- how did they get out? Oh . . . _there_ it is: Bart jimmied the front door again!) ^4: An hour later, Bart jimmies the front door to the cage again. A merry chase is had by all before I catch them -- I have to dig them out of the middle of the bean-bag chair in which they've just torn a hole to burrow into the chair . . . ^5: "Uh-oh -- I think she's gonna pitch us both into the lake over there..." ^6: Ed (b. Nov. 1930?) calls from Ferrets Northwest, is consulted on how to keep Bart from jimmying the cage-door. Solution: _wire_ it shut until we can get a better lock for the thing. Door wired shut (can still take them out of cage via the top, which comes off but has better clasps to hold it shut as desired). Bart plots revenge . . . Nexxt week: The return of Aquarius (Bart's mother, Sari)! Enjoy, YRD [Posted in FML issue 1569]