Greetings from a VERY longtime lurker. I have been reading this list for years in and never even once said Dook dook.. (Yes.. I know that I could post anon but when you live so long in hiding you get paranoid.) I spent many a dollar writing to my so-called representitives and was dissapointed time and again.. Fantod, my dearest friend, lived and died an outlaw.. he didn't know it but I am sure he would have been pleased. He was magic.. always seeming to know when I was down in the hard times and appearing out of nowhere to cheer me up with his clowning... When he died of the adrenal curse I thought I would never be happy again. I remember sitting in shock wondering how to honour his last remains when my harpcase fell from the closet on its own. I stared at it and realized that he had spent more time sleeping in it than the harp ever saw it. He was buried in it.. with his favorite toy and a banana. I soon realized that I missed him with a cold pain I thought I would never survive.. and then I had a dream. I dreamt of someones hands holding him.. he had on his collar and leash and he looked better.. fat and furry and not sick and thin and hairless as he was. The hands handed him to me and I held him and wept with joy at getting to hold him again. He squirmed in his usual bratty way as I kissed his head and told him how much I missed him. When I woke up I felt better, as if I had been shown that he was alright and someone was taking care of him. Now I have Fiochmhar and we live in a place of freedom and sanity and I cannot even tell you what a relief it is. I still run to scoop him up and hide him when someone comes to the door.. and then I remember and sigh with relief. Ten years of conditioned reflexes are hard to overcome.. [Posted in FML issue 1523]