Presumably, some of you have seen the Mountain Dew soft ad in which four genteel grandmother-types engage in a contest to see which of their grandkids engages in the most life- threatening sport. (This is a watered- down 90s version of a bit Monty Python did about 25 years ago with four Yorkshiremen that was funnier, but even more outrageous.) Anyway, the last of the four grandmothers tops them all by exclaiming, "Well, my boy does the Dew!" I can now claim that my ferret does the 'dew. In this case, however, I'm referring to mildew. Bleh. My two guys, Ren & Stimpy, both love to crawl into the shower basin (either during or after it's intended use) and lap up the water. Stimpy, however, gets up on his hind legs and licks the crevices and joints where the fiberglas sections meet which often have collected film of mildew, soap scum and heavens-knows-what-else. I try to keep the shower clean, but nothing eliminates mildew forever--especially in the South and in the summer in particular.. Ren seems uninterested in the red or black goo that grows in the crevices. I wonder what health hazards Stimpy might risk doing this. I know, for example, that it's possible to culture legionella (the bacterium that causes Legionnaire's disease) from the amoebae that live in the slime on shower heads...and presumably in the shower or tub, too. Stimpy is one of those seemingly self-destructive ferrets who is irresistably attracted to anything bad for him including plastic and styrofoam. If he were human he'd probably be one of those guys in circus side- shows that eats glass, swords, safety pins, bugs, etc. etc. What a weirdo. Anyone else have stories of scum-sucking ferrets? --Jeff Johnston ([log in to unmask]) [Posted in FML issue 1451]