When you stand up does your shadow resemble a pear instead of a banana? Find yourself telling business associates, "My winter fur is just really fluffy this year." Tried to chew on your tail and just keep getting a nose full of belly? Is this the year that you are going to be buff for the beach? Is your war dance barely getting off the ground? Do you find yourself slipping back to bed before you get 2nds on begging treats? Is rolling over and yawning your idea of a workout? RUDYCO Products has just what you need to get the job done. Make 96 the year that those New Year's resolutions become reality! The two workout products we offer will help you reach your goal. The Belly Buster (TM) and the Ferret Fitdancer (TM) will make you a firm ferret in less time and with less hassle than you thought ever would be possible. The Belly Buster will tighten those flabby abs. in no time by isolating them for a concentrated work out. Place the anatomically designed base against your belly and grab the handles with your front paws. Pull the handles towards you as you curl and try to lick the top of the Belly Buster. There is a special depression to hold a drop of linatone to add incentive. Be warned, the design will only let you taste it with an extreme effort and proper form. The dynamic tension created by this motion will strengthen your abs. and give you the 6 pack you want. But, this is just part of the total fitness system RUDYCO has for you. We know that spot reducing is a myth and that aerobic exercise is the key to shedding that "fluffy fur" you aren't proud of. Our answer is the Ferret Fitdancer, a device that uses an effortless natural motion to burn away the inches. Just mount the device and put each paw in the specially designed retaining pedal/handle. Extend to full stretch and then arch your back as you pull on the pedals to fully flex your body. Then, you just repeat this extension and flexion in a smooth continuous motion. Just like War Dancing and all the fun!! The crunch required at full flexion supplements the Belly Buster and the extension targets the opposing back muscles. Almost every muscle is involved to reach your aerobic fat burning zone with little effort and the movement is just hard enough to prevent overexertion into the anaerobic cycle. The real wonder is that it only takes 10 minutes a day to get results. Scientific design makes proper use easier than cheating. We can assure you that after one week you will really sky when you war dance. Our equipment is made of space age materials that will last forever (recycled cigarette filters) and crafted in our modern facility. We ship factory direct and pass the savings on to you. The Belly Buster is just $9.95 (plus $75.05 S & H). The Fitdancer is given away for the amazing price of $19.95 (plus $100.05 S & H). Our 5 day credit plan is just like cash (with a small carrying fee). Act now and we include our "Paws of Steel" workout video (see how I avoided the obvious pun?) that takes you through our gradual exercise routines and gives diet tips. This total package will melt the flab and add slabs of rippling sinew. Just call 1 800 FIT FUZZ or, in CA, 1 800 FIT FURO (this small simple change will make you legal). Operators are standing by. We ship overseas to return that foreign glut of American dollars back to our shores. The price is the same, just double the S & H charges (US funds only). We back our products with our 30 day money back guarantee. Use the equipment in the comfort of your home for 30 days and we guarantee you won't get your money back. What are we going to do with your used goods? Coming soon - our video KUNG FUR workout series based on the ancient secrets of the Chinese polecats. Our 10th dook black mask, Grand Pathmaster Bruce Williamslee, will show you how these fighting and healing arts can benefit you in just 5 minutes a day. Empty paws, the way of the claw, animal techniques, sock forms, and the art of seizing are just some of the mysteries he will reveal in a format that makes it simple for a common ferret. He teaches meditation techniques to slow the heart and use corpse breathing that will fool friends and owners alike in thinking you've walked the bridge. Imagine the fun at parties and frolics! You won't want to miss this series. ( )--(a) (@=@=) \ Till next time.......Rudy the ferlosopher O__) \ \___ \ \ /\ * ) \ [Posted in FML issue 1440]