Apparently my last efforts made it through (Thanks BIG!) so even though I have absolutely no references at hand (at bed?) I thought I would try yet another posting. Ferret Paper: I have recieved some good stuff from some of you (I would name names, but my short-term memory is flooded with 1960's psychedelic colors) but still need more local newspaper accounts. Does anyone have a copy of the Sun's "Jet Set Pet Attacks..." from a couple of years ago? Also, I am looking for subjective criticism from a few literate volunteers who would be willing to chop up the first rendering. It seems one evisceration is not enough.... Ferret Owners: I saw data that indicated the "average" ferret owner was a well educated professional female making lots of money. Does anyone know the source of this data and if it was randomly drawn? I am very interested in establishing a true demographic profile of ferret owners, but there are tremendous problems in gathering data. For example, data gathered from magazine subscribers is only useful for magazine advertizers; the data were not randomly generated and cannot be applied to the population as a whole. Would it be feasible to gather such data at shows or club meetings? Unity: I am clearly in favor of a national organization capable of advocating the needs of ferrets and their owners. I personally don't care if an existing organization or an invented one does the job, but the time has come for a maturity to take place in this regard. Why don't all you clubs and acronymoneous organizations get together and plan a national ferret chomporee, say in the midwest (or other fair location), where one of the goals is national unification? Its good for the ferrets, its good for business, its good for PR, and its good for legalization efforts. The only losers would be those with hidden agendas. FML: This is the single greatest thing I have ever read. I wish mammalogists and archaeologists would have a similar reading list. I cannot stress how lucky we are to have such a forum; its worth buying (I mean it!) BIG: Keep up the wisecracks! Without them we might take ourselves to seriously and forget how silly we can be. (By the way, I loved your crack about the $3 tag; it was funny, and it helped to clarify the issue. You may "crack" me up any time you like... ;) ) PET NAMES: We all have terms of endearment for our favorite pets; mine include: Polish dogs/cats, fuzz poles/balls, beasties, carpet monkeys, butt draggers, and toe nippers. What are yours? I will send a *SPECIAL CERTIFICATE* (worth absolutely nothing, but impressive!) to the person who contributes what I consider to be the best (i.e., funniest, punniest, sweetest, etc.) term of endearment. (This is not a real contest, nor is it subject to any legal restrictions. First postings have priority unless later contributions are from people who also tell funny stories or buy me off. Any opinion does not necessarily reflect those of the management, but only my personal brand of insanity). Come on you Bozos, send in your ferret terms! Thanks again for all the support; I will really need it tomorrow when I get to "eat" for the first time in a week; if you equate spooning broth with eating. Not exactly food that will *bowel* you over....Anal you glad I made that pun? I could write an entire colon on my hospital stay...it would keep you in stitches. (Someone please stop me before I pun again!) [Moderator's note: I'm not sure we can stomach any more puns. BIG] TLE--my prayers are with your fuzzies; hug them for me... 99% of Bob Moose, Stella, Daye, Tori, and Bear. Bears says, "Hey, whatever happened to the guy with all the raisins?" [Posted in FML issue 1380]