Bob here; had so many requests about Stella and the rest of the business I thought I would get everyone up to date (Well, ok, maybe three requests, but, hey, any reason to write, right?). Stella is doing very good, and has discovered several new ways to manipulate me, mostly be staring. I swear she can stare down a photograph...I can't take it any more! I now feed her by hand, talking, stroking, cooing, and singing to her the entire time. When she is finished, she lifts her head so I can wipe her chin. Seriously. And I do. She has regained all lost weight, and is putting on more. Today she danced all over the front room, and like a nervous first-time father, I followed close behind in case she should stumble. Moose has decided running is fun. He sprints from one side of the room to the other, and does it several times in a row. It's really funny when in the middle of a sprint he gets a mystery itch. He spins around to bite his butt, but has forgotten to stop first. As a result, he wipes out, legs sprawling and tail flying. He then jumps up, war dances like crazy looking for the fiend that tripped him up, and is off sprinting again. Daye is beautiful, all soft and petite and friendly. The sweetest thing, and with a gorgeous mask. For more than an hour, I tried to take her picture, but she would have nothing to do with it. I started to wonder if anyone would find her broken and twisted body deep in the woods, or if coyotes would just eat it, when she spun around, sat down just like a cat, and yawned. Great shot. She shall live to dook another (dare I say it?) day. Tori is a teenaged girl without the telephone. Sometimes all I want to do is marry her off, but that's not possible, is it? For the last few days, she has been climbing the blinds, using the slats as a makeshift ladder. And for what? She discovered she could climb the blinds to the top of the curio hutch where the treats are kept. She then plows the tin off the top, climbs (or falls, about 50-50) down, and works the lid off. Suddenly, carpet snakes are over the place, mouths full of jerky, dashing for the hidey-hole. If any of the others figure out how she's doing it, we're gonners. (I KNOW I can move it, but its so hypnotic to watch....) Bear got his booty kicked by the KC3 males. Several times. The only thing hurt was his pride, so he slunk around until he found me, then hid under my shirt. Poor baby. As soon as his fur was dry, out he came to try again. The funny thing is, he's stronger and bigger than anyone else, he justs lacks the confidence. Today he just sprawled on the couch, watching the KC3 males rough and tumble. I told him it was ok, that he was just a quaker ferret. (If they bite thy right cheek, turn to them thy left?) And speaking of turning cheeks, I saw Buddy do something I had only seen in skunks and mink. When Bear was temporarily winning, Buddy turned, and put his butt right in Bears face. Bear just stopped and looked confused, then went after him again. Buddy repeated the maneover. Several times. I soon discovered that each time, he had squirted a little "anal juice" right on Bear's nose. Not much, but definately some. Besides demonstrating the finer points of biological warfare, Buddy has put on 1/4 lb since arriveing, and his hair is thickening on his back and tail. And he tries to hide my hand in his hidey-hole. Cool. Foster has also put on weight, almost 1/2 lb! The guy is 8-years-old, but is the business manager, if you know that I mean. Some people in the house have begun calling him booger, because he has a pink nose with one little dark spot over the left nostril, and it likes like, well, you get the idea. At least it better than brown-nose....Foster chuckles constantly while playing, and is sometimes called the joker. Apollo and Razz are both doing well, but I have discovered something about their condition I never thought of before. Apollo is missing his top canines, and Razz was declawed. Both conditionds are tremendous handicaps for the ferrets. Neither one can compete in the dominance game as effectively as the others. When Apollo goes for the neck, the others just roll over; without the canines, the grip is easily broken. He is strong and brave and big, he just can't play the game was well, so he loses. I even thought of caps, but the teeth are broken off at the gum line, and I don't think he would tolerate a bridge. I have started giving him a little extra attention. Another problem I've discovered about the broken teeth is that the top canines hold the top lips out, and without them the lips curve inwards, almost inside the mouth. If Apollo closes his mouth too fast, his lower canines jab into his top lip. Looking close, I can see healed scars which must have been made this way. So now, every night, I check his lips. It looks weird, but I do it anyway. Razz was declawed, and has similar problems with social integration. While she can bite, she lacks claws for hanging on, and can't keep her grip. She is the lowest on the totempole, so I also give her extra time. When she came home, the hair on her tail was very sparse--it is now coming in full! Her butt has also grown somewhat, so she looks more like a bowling pin than a ferret. She will come when called, but she is still scared of everyone else. The declawing has caused other problems as well. She can't hold toys very well, she absolutely cannot climb, so she is always running around, looking for a way to get up to the other ferrets. She has a hard time picking up things with her paws. Its very sad. However, Razz and Apollo have become fast buddies, sticking together most of the time. Overall, things are looking smoothly. While Buddy and Foster are still not fully a part of the group, they are slowly moving in. It has been worth all the trouble and work, and I will never give them up. BTW, if you think I drop a pun or two, just drop Jeff Johnston a line. Believe me, after reading his last e-mail, I was severely pun-ished. Perhaps, if you crave such tweaks of the brain, you can beg him to send you a copy of the punny pages he sent me. But don't expect to see him in the punster's chair, with nearly-nekkid girlies fanning him with ostrich feathers. I will respond to the challenge....dook dook dook. Bob (-o) Moose, Stella, Daye, Tori, Bear, Apollo, Foster, Buddy, and Razz. Moose says, "I'm going to Stella you once and furo all, and Bear with me hair, be Bob's Buddy and Foster no ill will, or I will Tori you up, and Razz you all Daye long. It will be an Apolloing sight, so I Mustela you to be nice!" (Ok, I already used it in an e-mail, but too good to use only once...;-) ) [Posted in FML issue 1393]