Hi all. I'm a frequent reader but, by unfortunate necessity, an infrequent poster. Something in Nancy Farlow's note about how her ferrets and parrot coexist caught my eye. A while back, someone had posted, on alt.pet.ferrets, a question about how to keep ferrets out of a potentially dangerous kitchen. I posted back with all the confidence of a genius that I had created a ferret gate that had been successful for over a year. It was simply a sheet of plywood (truly decorative) afixed to a doorframe with hook & eye, just as Nancy explains in her post. Nancy's is 24" high. Mine was 28". Well, someone shot back after my post that no self respecting ferret would be contained by a barrier only 28 inches high. I scoffed. There had been only a few failed, token attempts at breaching the wall early on, then nothing; perhaps some scratching (read: digging) at the base once in a while. And after all, mine had proven successful for over a year. I was as smug as a bug in a rug. About a week later, my wife and I were sitting and watching a little TV (yes, at that time, the living room was forbidden ground -- too many dagerous wires, vulnerable potted plants, and new expensive couches -- then, that is). We began to hear a strange scratching sound that had a definite rythm. Then my wife exclaimed, "Look at Nuvak!" Nuvak is our ultra smart, ultra athletic, ultra sable, ultra male, ultra ferret. All we could see was his head popping up in the air on the other side of the barrier. It was hilarious -- him out there flailing at the wall, jumping, and just his head visible (lower than the top of the barrier as our angle of vision allowed us to see). And the sillyiest damn expression on his face. We whooped it up for a good five minutes. He egged us on by being relentless and displaying other endearing ferret characteristics. Then magic happened. One little paw appeared and stayed on top of the barrier. Now, Nuvak has strong arms. One of the tricks he likes to do is to lay on his back. I put my hand, palm up, on his chest. He wraps his two little hands (I truly hesitate to call anything used for so many different things a mere "paw") around two of my fingers, and -- up we go! So that first paw appeared. A moment later, the second paw appeared. Then he peaked that carpet shark, fuzzball, weasel-with-a-mission face of his over the edge and laid his chin down on top. Suddenly, there was complete silence. Charlotte (my wife) and I forgot ourselves and cheered this tremendous, and inspiring effort, lavishing warm, fuzzy words all over our brave warrior. Then, as he scrambled his back legs up to the top too, realization hit us. Our life had just undergone change. We locked eyes with eachother and let out a simultaneous "Uh, ooohhh." We put him back down on the other side again. This time it took him exactly two attempts to gain the prize. We knew we were history. Why did he wait over a year before *deciding* that he was going to go over the top? Did he want to see that episode of "E.R." as badly as I did? Me no know. Today, he and all the other wrecking balls with fur have the run of the house. The moral of the story is: No self respecting ferret will be contained by a 28" high barrier, nor one 24" high. We've used a 32" barrier, which *seems* invincible, but it begins to get a little difficult for those people who are "inseam length challenged." Sorry this was so long, but that moment is one that will linger in my mind, I believe, until I cast off this mortal skin, and will never fail to give me a chuckle at the arrogance of humankind (or at least my own). Honani (the dainty lady with an agenda) Nuvak ("No wall too high, no butt scratch too long") Uinta (psycho ferret form hell/cuddliest creature in known universe) Soyoko ("Where'e the remote?") Charlotte ("Where's Momma's girl? Ow! Hey! That's my toe!") Chuck ("You just have to laugh!") Charles S. McCarthy "Vox clamantis in deserto" - E. Abbey Northwestern University Office of Summer Session and Special Programs 2115 North Campus Drive, Suite 162 Evanston, IL 60208-2660 ph (708)491-7404 fax (708)491-3660 [Posted in FML issue 1279]