[Moderator's note: Slightly edited at poster's request... BIG] I am going thru the hills and valleys of mourning. I made it through Saturday at work alright even though the day seemed to go on forever until it was time to go. I miss her a great deal. I have been giving Mickey alot of attention. I find myself feeling OK and then suddenly I'll be overwhelmed by a feeling of grief and then the tears follow. After work Sat, Mickey and I went to my parents place. We visited Abbeys grave and placed a bouquet of flowers there for her. Then we drove northwest to where my younger brother's new house is (rural Lancaster, PA, he was moving his family in this weekend) and visited them for awhile. Mickey had a wonderful time. He was cutely curled up in my lap napping thru most of the drive. At my brother's he had a great time exploring the new house and seeing my 2 little neice & nephew who adore him. He also met their dog Tasha who loved him. They got along well. I had a hamburger & hotdog while we were there. Mickey had his food & water & linatone which I had brought along, he also tried a small piece of Kiwi fruit whih he liked a bit & a corn chip which he promptly took and ran with. The hardest part was the nighttime when we got back home. With the darkness and the relative quiet I found myself missing Abbey terribly. I tried hard to hold back the tears. I got really sad when my girlfiends cat appeared with one of Abbey favorite balls and started playing w/ it in the middle of the room. Then he stopped w/ the ball next to him and looked this way and that as if waiting for her to come and join him. When she didn't appear for him, he began walking around looking under her usual hiding places, I know he was searching for her. He did this for at least an hour. It was absolutely heart wrenching. They used to play together and Abbey would usually get the upper hand on him. Everybody misses her. I got some condolence letters from folks on the FML, it was so nice to feel that kind of caring and understanding from others, some who were experiencing the loss of their own critters. I know eventually the pain will subside. I put a picture of Abbey & Mickey on top of the TV cabinet in the LR w/ some flowers. I wanted to be able to see her whenever I walked by. I'm trying hard to be brave and telling myself I'll be with her again someday and that she is watching over me in spirit. I'll talk to you later. I'll be going to my parents place again today to bring my Mom flowers for Mothers Day. Mickey will be going also. Peace and Love, Fred & Mickey [Posted in FML issue 1194]