For the past three days I have cried tears for my best friend, visiting his grave every day to tell him how much I miss him already, and imagining his cold little body in the shoe box we so carefully enclosed him in- there underneath the dirt. Hershey was my buddy for 6 wonderful years, and they were years that I suppose were actually a gift to me. It was 2 years ago that I was told he would live only another 3-4 months. It was a year and a half ago that I thought his days were numbered as he became emaciated and lethargic. But I am convinced that the time he spent with me that was not meant to be was in part because of my love for him, and in part because of his love for me. Hershey was an insulinoma ferret, and his last few months of life was spent with me hand feeding him a specially-made concoction of things. His last week of life, he and I struggled, as he refused to eat and I refused to let him starve. On Saturday, I awoke to find him layed out flat and salivating. I had always told myself that I would know when it was his time, and I knew it was his time. As I cried on him, telling him to snap out of it, he told me it was okay. The real reason I knew his time had come was that when the veterinarian pierced his little heart with the lethal needle, he didn't even flinch. A true soldier to the very end. And when he had left us, he didn't look any different than when I had brought him in to the clinic. Yes, I miss that little bugger. Yes, I made the decision to end his life- because I loved him so much- but it's still difficult for me to deal. Frusen has spent the last three days in the bed I found him in that morning. Zola seems to be concerned that he is gone. Dar'C is frolicking as usual... and Morgen (the sig. other) and I have spent a lot of time talking about him and crying to ourselves- partly for the sadness we feel and partly for the joy he brought us over the years. We love you Hershey, wherever you are. Sorry for the long posting, just wanted to get some grief out. Carie and her zoo (who are also getting degrees to be veterinarians, or so they think), Frusen, Zola, Dar'C, Gelert, L.P., Mariah, Harley, Irkalla and the unnamed rat snake. Class of '97, Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Vet Med [Posted in FML issue 1183]