First to Suki and anyone else who requested the rabies info - all requests were filled, if you have not received the packet please let me know at [log in to unmask] so I can send another out. Suki let me know so I can put a trace on it - I sent it shortly after your request in a priority mail cardboard envelope and you may want to check at your post office too since it has been so long. Last night was very difficult for me as you will see by the following: Vixen passed away at 2 this morning. I knew when I checked on her at 10 that she wouldn't live till morning. I cuddled, held and talked to her till after 1 and then I gently placed her in her bed. At 1:45 I was awaken by little cries and quickly picked her up. She knew she was dying and was trying with all her might to hang on. I cuddled and talked to her through my tears as I reassured her that soon she would be with her father and sisters and there would no longer be pain. For 15 minutes I tried to comfort her and make her passing easier until she finally lost the battle. Vixen's cancer ravaged little body just could not take any more, even though she wanted to go on. I can only imagine how frightened and confused she was by loosing her bodily functions but still able to think. I knew her sight had gone by the way she just stared into space but I hoped she could still hear me as I told her how much I love her. Death was a nightmare she could not escape and I could not protect her from. I buried her this morning beside her sister. Rest well, my love. Perhaps the doctors on the FML would consider explaining to us all what actually happens when we die (at least as much as they know). I've already talked to two local vets about Vixens last hours and their explanations have helped me to understand what was happening to her. Perhaps knowing before it happens will help us. Hugs. tle [Posted in FML issue 1082]