It all began with Winston's illness. Normally, we leave the fur-worms in the care of a competent neighbor when we have to travel. But Winston had diarrhea, and needed liberal dosing with medicine and Pedialyte. So, we decided to board them at the local vet. I showed up with the (three-story) cage, two weasels, and the usual accoutrements: food, blankets, hammocks, treats, stereo-set, wool socks, reading material. The vet's assistants are used to us, and know the eccentricities of the Ferret Set, and were very accomodating, but nixed the cage on the grounds that it was too big. They put the woozles in a kennel, which, on inspection, would serve. So, leaving instructions that they were not to read any Stephen King or listen to Rush Limbaugh, I left them with the DVM. Off on my trip. Conducted business. Returned. Returning, the first order of bees wax was to pick up the children. They were both looking bronzed and fit, but the DVM, looking sheepish, related a story that made my knotted and combined locks to part, and each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fearful porpentine, as Shakespeare has it. She got a call at two AM one morning, after a party or shindig of some kind (you know how these vets live in Arcady). The alarm at the clinic had gone off. She turned up, groggy and in bad temper, with the police and the fire department and God knows what other public functionaries, and her terrier. After a thorough search of the premises, it seemed that all the kennels were secure. She was about to put it down to system failure in the alarm when the terrier nosed out Something Behind the Refrigerator. Rikki, my little girl, had apparently squeezed out of the kennel and set off the motion detector. Imagine her surprise: she was apprehended, fingerprinted, and moved to a kennel with much smaller bars. All because she decided it was time to map out the new surroundings. The rest of the story: everyone at the Vet's now has to do whatever I tell them when it comes to caring for ferrets, and a picture of Rikki is kept on the bulletin board with the notice: "Wanted: Escaped Fellon. Suspected of Breaking and Exiting, Arson, and Midnight Snacking." [Posted in FML issue 1034]