Hi everyone. Have been getting FML for a week now and thoroughly enjoy it. Much easier to follow than Ferret Chat on AOL. I've started a Ferret Newsletter here in Omaha and will be happy to send a copy to anyone who e-mails me their 'snail-mail' address. In keeping with first entry tradition, here is the story of how I got into ferrets. The story is also found in my first (and only, thusfar) issue of Ferret News (Omaha). Enjoy... and thank you for having me on FML. Ferret Tales Martha Adopts A Human It was an unusually mild morning for February best remembered not for the weather but rather for what happened as I turned the key in my car door lock to go to work. My vision detected a slender white head poking out from under the car and moving towards my feet. My brain lurched into overdrive while my body leaped backward three feet believing that whatever was moving down there could be a possum and knowing they could be vicious. The solid white, slinky furry snake, far too small to be a possum, circled my left shoe, rested its head on top, and looked up as if to say, "I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm hungry. Please take me home and feed me." With trepidation, I reached down to the meek critter expecting it to either bite or slither away. Accepting my touch, it nuzzled closer as if to say, "I've found my human." Washington's birthday was a week away and the name Martha popped into my head. I had nowhere to secure the animal in my apartment, so I scooped her up and took her to work where the guys in the warehouse found a box and some shredded paper for her to rest in while I spent the day at my desk job. The local pet store sold ferrets and I assumed they would be happy to get a free one to resell. The pet store didn't want her, but they did confirm her gender and sold me a $40. cage and a $7. bottle of liquid vitamins. The feed store sold me a $20. bag of kibbled cat food and a $10. sack of cedar shavings. Martha and I went home and discovered neither the apartment complex nor the Omaha Humane Society had a report of a missing ferret matching Martha's description: pure albino down to the pink eyes. I left my number. I had fallen in love with ferrets in pet stores but was afraid to have one in the same apartment with a cockateel and two parakeets. Martha showed no more interest in the birds than she did in the sofa, the kitchen cabinets, or the silverware drawer. Waste baskets and potted plants were terrific entertainment. It was apparent she had been someone else's pet, but was she housebroken? Well, yesx and no. She was very particular about using only one corner of her cage while in it. Outside the cage she was just as particular: the bathroom tile floor in the corner behind the toilet. I placed a pan of cat litter there: fun to play in but she continued to use the tile floor beside it. I switched to cedar shavings in the pan; same result. Finally I replaced the plastic dish pan with a paper towel. She used it! Clearly she was training me and not the other way around. Her favorite play area was the shower, especially when I turned the water on with the spray pointed at the wall so she could drink without getting wet. It became the first place she'd run to when I let her out of the cage or after returning from a walk. Yes, she leash trained me. At first I tried a lizard collar: too complicated for me to put on and too easy for her to wriggle out of. Next was a kitten collar. Finding the right notch to latch was the challenge. Too few, and like Houdini, she was out of it in 30 seconds. Too tight and she would slither across the floor dragging her front paws along her sides. I soon learned that this was an act designed to get me to loosen the collar. One notch less and within 30 seconds she was out of it. Once I ignored the 'handicapped routine' she became engrossed in the smells of the grass and pranced as if she had no restraint whatsoever. All through the spring and summer the neighborhood became accustomed to seeing Ferretman and Martha out on their evening strolls. Consequently, in the fall when a neighbor found another albino ferret nesting in a sack of cut grass on her porch, I was contacted and Snowball became part of my and Martha's life. Snowball went through the same "you're strangling me" routine when first introduced to the leash and kitten collar. But with Martha there to drag him along, he caught on much faster and now drags her just as often. All in all we're the hit of Standing Bear Lakex the guy with the two ferrets on a double leash. [Posted in FML issue 1025]