Dear Chris, Thanks for the information on my pesky little computer hacker. Much of your computer lingo went over my head but I'm convinced the security problem rests with AOL. I've notified them and am waiting a response. I've also notified the FBI and they were indeed interested. I've reproduced the letter so you can get a taste of where this guy is coming from. Dear Sir, I am an expert computer hacker. I hacked your AOL file, got your real name, your DOB and SS#. I then checked through government databases and found you are a police officer and a law school student. (accurate) If you need me to get any information on anyone let me know. For a price I will do anyone! Maybe you could hook me up with some of your friends! Thanks for your time, I hope it will be profitable for both of us! Master Cracker Salvage P.S. I didn't change your records or anything like that and I did not use the information i got on you for any wrong or bad purposes. No offense OK. I just need some money! Well, that's it. Pretty freaky. Anyway, thanks for the advice. . I know my hacker problem is irrelevant for FML purposes so let me add a bio of my two carpet sharks, Daisy and Elvis, for the sake of entertainment. Daisy is a 1 y/o sable female with an attitude. Likes to bite (working on that) and is a borderline paranoid schizophrenic. Girlfriend wanted to name our first child "Daisy." Agreed to give the name to the ferret so girlfriend will get that idea out of her head. Elvis is, of course, "the King." Currently in mourning over the death of the real Elvis. Wouldn't leave his cage yesterday. Elvis prefers the dishwasher, trashcans, the T.V. remote control, and my cordless phone (he chewed off the "9" button some I'm in big trouble if I have to dial 911). Elvis is mellow, cumbersome, and lazy. He tempers Daisy's hyperactivity. He is about twice the size of Daisy but usually allows her to win the daily free-for-all. Daisy and Elvis both came with the standard ferret tool belt and technology which allows them access into everything. Daisy is the acrobat and usually handles destruction of evertything at human eyelevel and above. She has a penchant for pulling things off of the higher shelves. Elvis is more blue collar in his approach. His daily routine, after a complete inventory of the house is complete, is to remove all books from the bookshelf and pull all CD's off of the stereo. After a brief nap, he is in charge of opening all locked doors and cabinets in order to allow Daisy full access. Both are wanted for a host of crimes including burglary, larceny, embezzlement, and grand theft car keys. Currently interrogating Elvis as to the location of my wallet. He's being held without bail until he talks. Well, that's the story. Sorry about the length but I have nothing better to do because Elvis and his accomplice have locked me in my room. I've been here for a day and a half. Maybe Elvis will make me a sandwich and slide it under the door. Peace, Dan. [Posted in FML issue 0923]